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Sunday, 22 March 2009

Sunday Scribblings "I Come From... "

Written for Sunday Scribblings "I Come From... " prompt


“I COME FROM… PHEW!”

I came from the void, sitting there alone

like you, waiting in that eternal hell

we waited and waited for life to come

and snatch us up into the breast of time


some said it was just a test and the rest

they didn’t care, they wanted out of there

at any cost, any way they could go

to time, even if it meant their return

back to the zone where they would burn and burn


but you and I both knew back then, as now

that we would be the chosen few, the free

as we elected to be chosen to

come to time to experience new birth

and to enjoy the blessings of this earth


we now can recall our eternal day

as we remember why we came to time

this is the day to say: “I come from… phew!”

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15 comments:

  1. Love the "breast of time"! And "phew" gives it a playfulness!

    Did you know that the following is in between each of your stanzas? I had to substitue () for <>.

    (!--[if !supportEmptyParas]--) (!--[endif]-)

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  2. Thanks Linda, It seems to be different browsers pick up some of the code - I'll try and fix it. Thanks for letting me know!

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  3. Lots of layering here - the second stanza sings and the poem shows a great story.

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  4. Very eventful, enjoyable read with a twist of humor! Loved it!

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  5. Nice touch of humour but so many layers of depth in this.
    Excellent.

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  6. A nice combination of thought-provoking and amusing!

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  7. I love the conversational style of this. Humour with a dollop of pathos thrown in. Nice one.

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  8. kind of sassy with beautifully woven in messages - what a wonderful job --- PHEW!!!

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  9. I liked this very much. Conversational poetry draws me in and takes me with you.

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  10. Like the imagery of moving from eternal day and coming to time in order to enjoy the blessings of earth. Great job!

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  11. I love your sense of humor in this poem, but yet it also has a great impact with its message. Great read!

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  12. I like what Danni said - sassy!

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  13. Thanks for that very playful and insightful. It's been a while since I've been around SS, I enjoyed this very much.

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  14. It's hard to add anything to what other comments have said, but I love the concept of "coming to time."

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  15. Lovely - I agree with most comments above :)

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