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Friday, 9 May 2008

TOP 'Transformation'

ON HIGH ^High in the Andes where the air is thin
One man said he saw god step off a cloud.
Where does earth end and outer space begin?
The high-way code: No sky-walking allowed!

But with just one word he could heal the sick.
Make a stone bleed? Turn water into wine!
Move mighty mountains and make the dead quick!
Walk on water and fish without a line.

One day a crowd gathered at Galilee
Five thousand hungry souls for him to feed
He sent five loaves and two fish from the sea
When each of them had eaten to his need

His helpers went to gather up the crumbs
Enough to feed five thousand of his chums.
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14 comments:

  1. OK, now, this is a song. Time to pick up your guitar and give us a podcast!

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  2. If you believe in yourself, anything is possible - some may say it's a con, others understand the significance of faith

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  3. Hi richard- you really DON'T want to hear me sing..

    Gautami- Me too, and hang gliding!

    Hi Stan, the point/thought I was trying to make/convey was in the last line. People thought that it was a miracle to feed the five thousand with five loaves and two fish - but the real miracle was that after everybody had eaten there was enough left over to feed another five thousand.

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  4. Very lyrical. Bearing in mind the subject matter:

    Lloyd Webber, eat yer heart out!

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  5. Hi Anthony, I was over at your blog this morning but ran out of time reading all the stuff there - so I'll nip back and leave a comment later!

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  6. What an interesting story, I don't much know what to make of it,(the middle parts are missing?)

    great sonnet, much respect.

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  7. I like the rhyming pattern and the mix of traditional themes and contemporary language.

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  8. Yes, I picked up on the song thang too. Cool.

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  9. The sound of this poem is spot on! Very upbeat. I agree with richard, this would make a terrific song.

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  10. I liked that question - where does outer space begin? I immediately thought "between one step and the next".

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  11. Haha - Sky-walking is not allowed!

    I liked this. The first of yours that rhymed (that I've read). It comes off with this uppy rhythm.

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  12. Great Sonnet. You did a good job with the rhyme scheme and overall message. Would love to hear this with music.

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  13. Many thanks to everybody for visiting this week and thanks for all the positive comments about my 'little song'.

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