Commor Error

TWENTY ONE FOUR TWO

ABC PC Double Dutch to me

I asked him what the difference is between

BC / AD and BCE / CE

Nothing he tells me apart from PC

Common Era is a common error

Before Common Era was Before Christ

So One O One Three BC / BCE

Would be three thousand years ago you see

Therefore then give or take a day in time

We'll all be One Hundred and Twenty nine

Or perhaps plus in Anno Domini

Twenty One Four Two AD or CE

I always thought AD was After Death

He tells me it’s the year that Christ was born

081213

Purgatory

POWER NAPPING

She lies down in a darkened room

Desperate to dream about him

If only he would come home

And make her life complete

She tries to sleep as her thoughts

Keep her awake then lull her to limbo

The clock ticks plays tricks with time

Power napping is purgatory

When she wakes she doesn't know 

Where she’s been or if she’s even seen him

If only he would come home

And make her life complete

Every moment seems like an eternity

She butters the toast on both sides

021213

Empowering...

THE MYTH

This is the myth that happens to be true

Hewn out of the stones that built the temple

Empowering the atheistic minds

Mindless as the Ancients of yesteryear

Yearning for the reality of faith

Thankful as any man out of his shell

Hell and then high water overshadowed

Over and over again sinking fast

Fast as a speeding bullet faster streuth 

Truth substituted for reality

Really I hear the great unwashed utter

Utterances of oaths and secret trysts

Try as they might to break the mold they hold

Holed up in the chimney this is the myth

27112013

Sambuca...

SIX OF ONE

The forty-five revolves on the turntable

Silently an arm makes the pick-up

Pulls the trigger, it's Russian Roulette

Game on, he takes a shot of Sambuca

Follows it up with a pint of Holts

Chases that with another shot

If it doesn't kill you it makes you stronger

Does he really need another?

Six of one, half a dozen of the other.

081113

Gold Trafford

Here's the cleaned up/whitewashed version of a performance piece:

MONCHENGLADBACH

HeCan’tSeeProperlyAnyMore
SoHeJustNodsAndDoffsHisCap
ToAllAndSundryHeSaysHello
ToPeopleWhoLookLikeOldFriends
NeverSureIfTheCheckOutLady
GivesHimTheRightChange
HeIgnoresHerAndWhenSheIgnores
HimHeThinksIt’sBecauseSheThinks
He’sABoreNobodySpeaksToHimAnyMore
BecauseTheyThinkHeThinksTheyThink
He’sCrazyHeCan’tHearThem
WhenTheyCallHimNames
OfCourseTheyDon’tInviteHimToTheMatch
AnyMoreItSmellsLikeGoldTraffordInHere
HeTellsTheKrautAtTheDortmundGame
YourRhineOrMineAndWhereTheEcclesCakes
IsMonchengladbachAnyway?

061113/1

Little-enders...

LILLIPUT

Lily went to Lilliput

and all the little people shook

She was a giant in their land

they really didn't understand

They read about one in a book

that's why all the people shook

When Lily went to Lilliput

041113

Nowhere to run...

UP THE ALLEY
Sometimes the inevitable happens
pens and inks like it's nobody's business
business has moved to the back alleys now
nowhere to run nowhere to hide no more

No more money left to feed her habit
a bit on the side or up the alley
Leyland Lill wouldn't recognise her now
nowhere to run nowhere to hide no more

Moreen  likes to figure everything out
outside it's raining but rain won't stop play
Players 'r' us give us yer money now
nowhere to run nowhere to hide no more

Oregano basil and black pepper
perhaps the inedible happened
231013

Society Vs Community

HIDING THE CRACKS

We've talked about the self

congratulatory society before

but what about community

and wheels within wheels

and who ever mentions the 

blokes who made the spokes

and told the jokes that kept

industry moving all those years

and the women that did/do two 

jobs came/come home and bring 

up the kids then put their husbands

dinner on the table and still do

I don't see blue plaques hiding the 

cracks on many terraced houses
there's one or two too few if you're not
on TV you won't have one will you

21102013

It's National Poetry Day 2013

For National Poetry Day 2013

ANDY SEWINA

They said I’ve got to write a sestina
I said my name is Andy Sewina
Would you like a bite of my banana
How long till you get some new pyjama
Is that a felt hat or a fedora
Did you sail into the new marina

I once met a mermaid called Marina
I thought I’d tell you in this sestina
That I always wear an old fedora
She said is your name Andy Sewina
Lemontina do you wear pyjama
Oh but please please don’t drive me banana

Joey likes to eat yellow banana
When he pedalo to the marina
Everybody loves his blue pyjama
When he goes siesta with sestina
He dreams that he is Andy Sewina
Wearing a big coat and a fedora

You really can’t ignore a fedora
Even a squishy squashy banana
Won’t make you into Andy Sewina
So don’t go try to swim the marina
Who said it’s complicated sestina
It’s so easy peasey in pyjama

Do the drama school supply pyjama
I’ll bring a pair under my fedora
It’s time for us to sing my sestina
Ba ba ba bana bana banana
Ma ma ma mamma ma ma marina
Yeah lemontina Andy Sewina

Dance like fiesta Andy Sewina
Do Sucu sucu Cuba pyjama
Discotina down to the marina
Don’t forget to don your old fedora
Ba ba ba bana bana banana
Singer ringer dinger my sestina

Dreamer dreamer sestina pyjama
Andy Sewina with his fedora
Slip don’t trip banana skin marina

280109

Here's the original post: Sewina Sestina.

More Limericks for Mad Kane

Here's some Limericks I wrote, all prompted by Mad Kane -

A fellow was buying a place

Uptown for his girl to save face

His wife didn't know

Why he put on a show

He wanted somebody to chase

29092013

A woman was eating a wrap

And fell for the usual trap

Of starting a riot

All over her diet

Of salad and celery crap

240913

A woman was flying quite high

Up over the Isle of Skye

I heard that she came

On the astral plane

Not blinking but more rapid eye

A fellow just loves telling jokes:

that bore all the girls and their blokes.

They are so unfunny

he doesn't make money

it’s all to annoy the good folks.

A fellow who needed a pair

Of glasses to see up the stair

Went out of his mind

And thought he was blind

When he lost his specs down the chair

11082013

A woman had planted a pine

Instead of her usual vine

It tasted like bleach

She started to preach

Then pulped it and drank it like wine

05082013

I heard it on the grapevine...

Here's a little something...

SILLY BILLY

There was once a young girl called Lily

Who thought that the system was silly

She picked up her phone

And called up the throne

Prince William Prince William King Billy

20092013

After a while...

THEY WERE ALWAYS

GOING TO LET YOU DOWN

after a while a pattern emerges

verges on similarity the same

insane insanity which way is up

upper new york state was never like this

thistles and thorns can scratch me to death too

two or three times a week isn't enough

tough they say and get back in their new car

karaoke would be the cool thing now

nowhere else to go what say you

you’re all I live for nothing else matters

hatters are said to be a little mad

madness isn't as bad as it’s painted

tainted with sadness I’m falling asleep

falling asleep never to wake again

15082013

THEY WERE ALWAYS

GOING TO LET YOU DOWN

(REVEALED)

tainted with sadness I’m falling asleep

verges on similarity the same

madness isn't as bad as it’s painted

you’re all I live for nothing else matters

two or three times a week isn't enough

hatters are said to be a little mad

falling asleep never to wake again

insane insanity which way is up

tough they say and get back in their new car

upper new york state was never like this

karaoke would be the cool thing now

thistles and thorns can scratch me to death too

after a while a pattern emerges

nowhere else to go what say you

15082013/1

Some Limericks for Mad Kane

Here's some Limericks I wrote, all prompted by Mad Kane -

Please stop smoking already. Don’t dicker.

Tobacco is worse than strong liquor

I've heard that your friends say

You smell like an ashtray

Go on give up, don’t beg to differ

300513

A woman was feeling quite ill

She told quack Jack her name was Jill

He gave her a smack

Somewhere on her back

And sent her to bed with a pill

270513

A woman was trying to ink

a love heart while all dressed in mink

She wrote I love Fred

then heard he was dead

And ordered another stiff drink

190513

A Vampire with too much red ink

And not enough blue blood to drink

Flew after a queen

To fulfil his dream

But she was a he dressed in pink 

190513/1

A fellow was trying to buff

His car with a cloth much too rough

The blue became green

And obscured the screen

His wife said I think that’s enough

140513

NaPoWriMo 2013 Day Thirty

NaPoWriMo 2013
Day Thirty

WHEELS WITHIN WHEELS
Any bit of sunshine brings them out
outside my front gate this morning
mourning the death of this cold spring
rings on their fingers banging tins.

Tinsel town it's not - Sunchester
Manchester with wheels - tyres screeching
ching ching cheers the mad mullah sings
singing over his car radio.

Radiotelegraphy phew!
hewn with an axe wheels within wheels
heels from Columbia - streetwise
wisdom comes from knowledge acquired.

Acquitted but guilty as sin
Sinbad  says - any bit of sunshine.
300413

Day Thirty last year.

NaPoWriMo 2013 Day Twenty-Nine

NaPoWriMo 2013
Day Twenty-Nine

THE GRASS IS GREENER
The grass is greener shorter than before
foreigners come and go the seasons change
anger consumes the abused - boils over
undercover officers roam the streets.

Treat or trick she says dipping his pocket
skyrocket taking his bus fare back home
homesick as a suicidal student
entering the lions den for the first time.

Timepleasers sheltering under the trees
essentially in the shadows dealing
lingering there no longer than they need
needlework inked in the prison workshop

Shop work wages won't pay the rent boys rent
rents his clothes plants trees - the grass is greener.
290413

Day Twenty-Nine last year.

NaPoWriMo 2013 Day Twenty-Eight

NaPoWriMo 2013
Day Twenty-Eight

Poetic Flash Fiction in 51 Syllables!

SELLING SINGLES
They say that thugs are selling drugs to mugs, but who's selling cigs to kids? Don't you know that if you do one thing wrong, you're doing everything wrong. And they keep on selling singles to nine-year-olds at the corner shop!
280413

Day Twenty-Eight last year.

What will you write?

NaPoWriMo 2013 DayTwenty-Seven

NaPoWriMo 2013
Day Twenty-Seven

WHO CAN TELL

She sits there waiting to hear what he wrote

Her hair still wet the blanket pulled up tight

It’s night time now and she dreads the morning

Tomorrow who can tell how she will feel.

She doesn't want it to end like last time

Her memory comes flooding back now fast 

It’s easy to take the first step but then

Tomorrow who can tell how she will feel.

She can see clearly in her own minds eye

Her blindness is no handicap to him

It’s time for him to read the words he wrote

Tomorrow who can tell how she will feel.

India

Lima Oscar Victor Echo

Yankee Oscar Uniform he says.

270413

Day Twenty-Seven last year.

NaPoWriMo 2013 Day Twenty-Six

NaPoWriMo 2013
Day Twenty-Six

ROUND ABOUT HELL

Not that hot all strangers to each other

Hermione told Helen about her dad

Dado rails won’t make the house trendy

Render unto Caesar what is Caesar’s.

Sarcastic as a naive art dealer

Alerting the world to the latest scam

Scampering up the hill like Jack and Jill

Illegally pocketing all that cash.

Cashless as they would like us all to be

Beer tax and credit card society

Etymologise each thought to the root

Route one end to end stuff just kick the ball.

Ballooning in the playground about hell

Helen told Hermione it’s not that hot.

260413

Day Twenty-Six last year.

NaPoWriMo 2013 Day Twenty-Five

NaPoWriMo 2013
Day Twenty-Five

UNSOCIAL HOURS
Punish the victim kick him when he's down
Own your own home or pay through the nose twice
Icicles hanging off his hob nail boots
Boob jobs and Botox best before breakfast.

Faster and faster quick as a vixen
End this stupidity while you still can
Canada would be a good place to hide
Hidden away in the giant snow lands.

Outlandish as it might seem there's a queue
Queens and Brooklyn are good to hide in too
Tomorrow is almost another day
Other days don't count as unsocial hours.

Ursa Major rocks at this time of year
Earlier they said punish the victim.
250413

Day Twenty-Five last year.

NaPoWriMo 2013 Day Twenty-Four

NaPoWriMo 2013
Day Twenty-Four

WINNERS AND LOSERS

They build you up and then they knock you down

Downtown Chicago winners and losers

Los Angeles is a bit like that too

Tomorrow another thousand will come.

Welcome to America and all that

Thatchers bricklayers and hatters wanted

Tedious as it might seem to the poor

Or even more so to the rich out there.

Here they come Ellis Island once again

In their droves to build the Chicago Loop

Loopy as a two bit Hollywood flake

Lake Michigan will never be the same.

Samantha changed her name and became Sam

Sambucas for the winners as they build.

240413 

Day Twenty-Four last year.

NaPoWriMo 2013 Day Twenty-Three

NaPoWriMo 2013
Day Twenty-Three

I'm doing the prompt at napowrimo.net today.

Today, let’s try writing triolets. A triolet is an eight-line poem. All the lines are in iambic tetramenter (for a total of eight syllables per line), and the first, fourth, and seventh lines are identical, as are the second and final lines. This means that the poem begins and ends with the same couplet. Beyond this, there is a tight rhyme scheme (helped along by the repetition of lines) — ABaAabAB.

Here’s an example by Thomas Hardy:

Birds at Winter
Around the house the flakes fly faster,
And all the berries now are gone
From holly and cotoneaster
Around the house. The flakes fly! – faster
Shutting indoors the crumb-outcaster
We used to see upon the lawn
Around the house. The Flakes fly faster
And all the berries now are gone!

Here’s mine:

UP AND DOWN

Life’s more like a rollercoaster

Thrill seekers coming back for more

For the cherries in the orchard

Life’s more like a rollercoaster

Up and down and squashed and tortured

Always more as time gets shorter

Life’s more like a rollercoaster

Thrill seekers coming back for more

230413

Day Twenty-Three last year.

NaPoWriMo 2013 Day Twenty-Two

NaPoWriMo 2013
Day Twenty-Two

HER/HIMSELF
Writing her/himself into history
his/her story was much the same as mine
minerals buried deep beneath the ground
sounds like nature's taking over again.

Ayn Rand and her cultist followers
Lower Manhattan's never been the same
Sambucas wouldn't help them that much
that much I do know about  these things.

Ingenuity comes in droves sometimes
time's running out for some of us
usually it's me that's running away
way down south and up the yellow brick road.

Frog and Toad we're off to see the Wizard
arduous as it is it beats writing.
210413

Day twenty-Two last year.

NaPoWriMo 2013 Day Twenty-One

NaPoWriMo 2013
Day Twenty-One

Inspired by but not posted to the prompt at Sunday Whirl.

Poetic Flash Fiction in 51 Syllables

HEARTS HARDEN
Promise me you will shelter against the bomb, when infidels fire one. Resilience is time well spent, no matter what, the drugs will be shipped. Hearts harden to shock us, they want their land to thrive and ours to struggle.
210413 

Day Twenty-One last year.

NaPoWriMo 2013

Day Twenty

The prompt today at NaPoWriMo.net is as follows: Today I challenge you to write a poem that uses at least five of the following words: owl, generator, abscond, upwind, squander, clove, miraculous, dunderhead, cyclops, willowy, mercurial, seaweed, gutter, non-pareil, artillery, salt, curl, ego, rodomontade, elusive, twice, ghost, cheese, cowbird, truffle, svelte, quahog, bilious.

Happy writing!

Here's mine: (I chose - upwind, clove, twice, ghost, and mercurial).

A MERCURIAL GHOST

A mercurial ghost came to visit

it isn't a ghost it's a ghoul is it

sitting there upwind

Indian Queens grinned

edging over the clove twice revisit

200413

Day Twenty last year.

NaPoWriMo 2013 Day Nineteen

NaPoWriMo 2013
Day Nineteen

Today’s prompt at Napowrimo.net comes to 
us from a list that Daisy Fried put together: 
Write a poem in the form of a personal ad!
Or, if you like, try any kind of want ad. 
Personal ads, though, do have a kind of poetry to them. 
The personal ads of the London Review of Books are 
particularly famous, and have even spawned a book. 
When I was younger, one of my favorite guilty pleasures 
was getting a copy of the local alternative newspaper and 
reading through the personal ads for (a) witty ones and 
(b) really horrible ones. One of my favorites was a witty one, 
which went something like this:
Antonymically Correct?
Ham-fisted, vindictive milquetoast seeks ineducable, filthy 
harridan to castigate, bore, and neglect. 

Try and top that, if you like. (Oh, and by the way, the 
personal ad doesn't actually have to be about you, of course. 
Feel free to invent every last thing about it). Happy writing!

Here’s mine:

HELP!

Beatles fan wltm similar

perhaps please please me at the cinema
or Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band

Old codger coffin dodger hold my hand

190413

Day Nineteen last year.

NaPoWriMo 2013 Day Eighteen

NaPoWriMo 2013
Day Eighteen

I'm doing today's prompt at Napowrimo.net!

This prompt comes to us from Cathy Evans, 

who challenges us to write a poem that begins and 

ends with the same word. You could try for something

in media res, that begins and ends with “and,” for example. 

Or maybe “if.” Or perhaps you could really challenge 

yourself and begin/end your poem with a six-dollar word 

like “antidisestablishmentarianism.” (Just kidding!) 

Whatever word you choose, I hope you have fun with it!

Here's mine:

THE ONE

One on one they're about the same as us

usually we'd rush out and take them on

only as I can see their weaponry now

no way will we beat them one on one

None of them out there last time were yet born
ornamental as that might sound to you
your young soldiers will surely die tonight
night after night none will be spared no none

Oneness in the ranks will beat these chancers
erstwhile as they might think they are out there
here we go then into battle once more
rebuffing the enemy with oneness

One of us and only the one will win
in this total war we will be the one
180413

ONION ON YOU HERO
(THE ONE REVEALED)
Only as I can see their weaponry now

no way will we beat them one on one

in this total war we will be the one
ornamental as that might sound to you
none of them out there last time were yet born

Oneness in the ranks will beat these chancers
night after night none will be spared no none

Your young soldiers will surely die tonight
one on one they're about the same as us

usually we'd rush out and take them on

Here we go then into battle once more
erstwhile as they might think they are out there
rebuffing the enemy with oneness
one of us and only the one will win
180413/1

Day Eighteen last year.

NaPoWriMo 2013 Day Seventeen

NaPoWriMo 2013
Day Seventeen

Today is Margaret Thatcher's funeral
and it was revealed during the service
at St. Paul's Cathedral in the City of London
that she was part of the scientific team that
invented Mr Whippy ice cream.
My prompt for today is to write a nursery rhyme
about her. So for today only, no matter what
your political persuasion, this is just for fun.

MRS. THATCH

Grantham grocers counter slices

mixing Mr Whippy ices

A ceremonial dispatch

at Saint Paul's for Mrs Thatch

170413

Day Seventeen last year.

Finally, just for the record - Bus Degradation. 

NaPoWriMo 2013 Day Sixteen

NaPoWriMo 2013
Day Sixteen

Yesterday was my five hundredth post on this blog
and the phone didn't stop ringing, which inspired my
poem for this the sixteenth day of NaPoWriMo 2013.

Here it is:

DEAD WRINGERS

His home phone never stopped ringing

Ringing, ringing, ringing in his ears

Tearfully he disconnected his Ansaphone

Phone calls were taking over his life

Life was for living he told himself

Elfishly he turned the damn thing off

Offering the ringers no choice at all

All that happened was - they rang him some more

Some moron had found his cell phone number

Cucumber dog and partridge trombone

One two three, five-five-five, six nine, nine eleven

Eventually though something had to give

Give me strength he said, jumping into the canal
All the ringers were watching, waiting, wringing him out

160413

Day Sixteen last year.

NaPoWriMo 2013 Day Fifteen

NaPoWriMo 2013

Day Fifteen

SHE DON’T
She don’t see things that way no more
No more than she ever did how’s about you
Useless as a broken tambourine
Urination is hardly the answer

Swerving dodging left field and right
And writing down every rite of passage
Sage and onion would make a better stuffing
Stuff like that always bugs her sideways

Wayside in the jungle of discontent
Tentative as it might be she must discuss it
Cuss it or swear on oath or her babies’ life
Living that way isn't the answer ever

Everest is the tallest mountain still
Illuminate her a little bit more
150413

LAWSUITS CENSUS
(SHE DON’T REVEALED)
Living that way isn't the answer ever
And writing down every rite of passage
Wayside in the jungle of discontent
Stuff like that always bugs her sideways
Useless as a broken tambourine
Illuminate her a little bit more
Tentative as it might be she must discuss it
Sage and onion would make a better stuffing

Cuss it or swear on oath or her babies’ life
Everest is the tallest mountain still
No more than she ever did how’s about you
Swerving dodging left field and right
Urination is hardly the answer
She don’t see things that way no more
150413/1

Halfway last year.

NaPoWriMo 2013 Day Fourteen

NaPoWriMo 2013
Day Fourteen

I used Mad Kane's weekly Limerick prompt for my Day Fourteen.

IMELDA SHE'S NOT

A woman who likes to cook stews

goes upstairs to count all her shoes 

Imelda she’s not 

but soul food she’s got 

Or is it sole food that she brews 

140413

Day Fourteen last year.

NaPoWriMo 2013 Day Thirteen

NaPoWriMo 2013
Day Thirteen

PROPAGANDA

Propaganda all-out war

who can really know for sure

Pyongyang who's right who's wrong

who pulls his strings sings this song

130413

Day Thirteen last year.

Na PoWriMo 2013 Day Twelve

NaPoWriMo 2013
Day Twelve

TOTAL WAR

Thought control in Pyongyang

total war for all the gang

Who pulls his strings Kim Jong-un

Beijing perhaps very soon

120413 

Day Twelve last year.

NaPoWriMo 2013 Day Eleven

NaPoWriMo 2013
Day Eleven
The prompt today is to write a tanka. This, like the “American” cinquain, is a poem based on syllables, with the pattern being 5-7-5-7-7. They work best when those final two 7-syllable lines contain a sort of turn or surprise that the first three lines might not wholly anticipate. You can string a bunch of them together to make a multi-stanza poem, or just write one!

Here's mine:

ROCK 'N' ROLL

The rock 'n' roll years

on stage in front of the crowd

the deafening throng

looking for a miracle

five thousand more mouths to feed

110413

Day Eleven last year.

NaPoWriMo 2013 Day Ten

NaPoWriMo 2013
Day Ten
Inspired by but not posted to Haiku Heights

INCENSE

Morning prayers 

long before breakfast

the monks rise

100413

Day Ten last year.

NaPoWriMo 2013 Day Nine

NaPoWriMo 2013
Day Nine

NOBODY LISTENS
Sitting here looking at a blank screen
one day melds into the next
time disappears into the pot
melts like it's not that important
who knows who cares what's real
I do but nobody listens to me

Why would they what have I done
for them what have I done that matters
to them when was I their hero
what did I do to help them when
I had all the money in the world
all those years ago in the old country
090413