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Saturday, 24 October 2020

Song #199



could it ever happen again

I didn't really plan it this way

I know you said no more last time

and the time before

sitting on the back step

waiting for my baby to come

I call you my baby

but you don't even know that I'm here

It's been the longest time

I never thought that it would happen

could it ever happen again

I didn't really plan it this way

I know you said no more last time

and the time before

but I know you're there baby

I couldn't get by without you


Saturday, 10 October 2020

Football in the park ...



I just wanna play football with the kids

from dawn to dark the kids play football in the snow

but I'm too old I feel the cold

I just wanna play football with the kids

Subbuteo bar or blow table football I don't know

I've got me boots got me socks but I'm too old to take the knocks

I just wanna play football with the kids

I just wanna play football with the kids

from dawn to dark the kids play football in the park

but I feel as old as Noah's ark

I just wanna play football with the kids

Subbuteo bar or blow table football I don't know

I've got me boots got me socks but I'm as old as Goldilocks

I just wanna play football with the kids


Tuesday, 25 August 2020


It's my birthday and I'm re-posting this rhyming thing I penned in 2009

They said I’ve got to write a sestina
I said my name is Andy Sewina
Would you like a bite of my banana
How long till you get some new pyjama
Is that a felt hat or a fedora
Did you sail into the new marina

I once met a mermaid called Marina
I thought I’d tell you in this sestina
That I always wear an old fedora
She said is your name Andy Sewina
Lemontina do you wear pyjama
Oh but please please don’t drive me banana

Joey likes to eat yellow banana
When he pedalo to the marina
Everybody loves his blue pyjama
When he goes siesta with sestina
He dreams that he is Andy Sewina
Wearing a big coat and a fedora

You really can’t ignore a fedora
Even a squishy squashy banana
Won’t make you into Andy Sewina
So don’t go try to swim the marina
Who said it’s complicated sestina
It’s so easy peasey in pyjama

Do the drama school supply pyjama
I’ll bring a pair under my fedora
It’s time for us to sing my sestina
Ba ba ba bana bana banana
Ma ma ma mamma ma ma marina
Yeah lemontina Andy Sewina

Dance like fiesta Andy Sewina
Do Sucu sucu Cuba pyjama
Discotina down to the marina
Don’t forget to don your old fedora
Ba ba ba bana bana banana
Singer ringer dinger my sestina

Dreamer dreamer sestina pyjama
Andy Sewina with his fedora
Slip don’t trip banana skin marina

Saturday, 2 May 2020

napowrimo 2020 conclusion

napowrimo 2020 conclusion
Another napowrimo (poetry writing month) completed. This was my twelfth year of doing the thirty poems in thirty days challenge. The thing I had found in previous years was that two or three pieces would work out well and the rest would be pretty much discarded. This year, looking back over my entries I can't find one that I'm totally happy with. However, I think the point of the exercise is to produce a new piece of work each day, and as far as that goes I feel this has been a success. I will leave you with my favourite poem from the thirty published, REALLY BAD POETS (LIKE ME) which I think just about sums up the whole situation for me. Before I go, may I say congratulations to everybody who completed this years challenge.

Bad poets are really baaad
bad because we wanna be really baaad
Sad as it may seem to the educated
dreamer really baaad poets are bad
because they wanna be baaad
They repeat themselves too much
such and such rhyme all the time
internally and end line
Force the silly billy iambic pentameter
mount the syllabic count down to the ground
surround their act with half baked jokes
Baaad poets are really bad
baaad because we wanna be really bad
Stanza's verses couplets quatrains
we might as well be cleaning drains
nobody listens when we hum
or reads much beyond line one
But writing poetry can be fun
and I for one know that it keeps
me bleep bleep mad insane
a crazy simple writing game
Perhaps some baaad poets like me
only crave the irresistibility of mediocrity
that Wilde spoke about in Dorian Gray
then again maybe we wanna be bad
Sometimes we tell lots of lies
and plagiarise surprise surprise
Haiku Sudoku which one would you do
something simple cinquain please explain
Here we go again really baaad poets
like me (and I like them too) are bad
because we wanna be baaad

Thursday, 30 April 2020

napowrimo 2020 #30

Foolish as things may be
difficult as everything is
how I wish that my wish
about you could come true
hey that life would
be easy someday

However the weather
put paid to all that
seventy six was very very hot
but not as hot as
April twenty twenty
or so the they say

Who are the they
spouting it out
who are the they
shouting from the rooftops
who are the
great unwashed they
who are the
unbleached grey they
who are the jet black they
who are the
all shades of hades they

Foolish as things may be
difficult as everything is
how I wish that my wish
about you could come true
hey that life would
be easy someday

What say you man
give us yer dosh
check that
check back later

However the weather
put paid to all that
seventy six was very very hot
but not as hot as
April twenty twenty
or so the they say

Who is the they
who is the they
or so the they say

Wednesday, 29 April 2020

napowrimo 2020 #29 coronavirus 31

The lunatics are running the asylum
Trumpington and Twopence
have no cents sense

The trouble is we're all locked in
locked up

Lockdown not in my town
I'd rather be locked in the pub
drinking beer
vodka lemonade

But I'm afraid

The lunatics are running the asylum
King Karloff with his brand new prince

Nicola Fish
Haggis dish
cover yer kite in public

In Singapore they're building more
hospitals for the rich and poor
'cos they're expecting a second wave
of Coronavirus on their shores

Rub-a-dub-dub three men in a pub
and how do you think they got there
through the back door
where they pulled up a chair
the doctor the vicar the undertaker
smoking cigars supping boilermakers

The trouble is we're all locked in
locked up

Lockdown your town too
and the lunatics are running the asylum

Tuesday, 28 April 2020

napowrimo 2020 #28 coronavirus 30

his world was made of whopping great lies
under the blanket he had cupboards full of them
tin cans rusting at the base sugar and flour stuck to the shelves
huge puddles the shape of England eating holes in the floor
stacks of bills for electricity and gas that he never used
I went to his house once about a week before the pandemic
about a month before he jumped off the bridge
It took me a while to find his place hidden deep in the forest as it was
I spent the day with him and he asked me what day it was nearly twenty times
somewhere under the bed he kept all of his secret things
way down in his inner consciousness below the concrete floor of his mind
was a perfect memory of all that he had seen and done
for people like me who found this hard to comprehend
he said the brain is just for thinking but the memory is where it's all at
that was the only time that I met him
I was happy to get out of there before the lockdown started
it all went pear shaped not long after that

Monday, 27 April 2020

napowrimo 2020 #27 coronavirus 29

The further you come the harder you fall
whatever happened to Trumpingtons wall

You really believe that love comes easy
you download the app to your dog an' bone
you're so naïve so don't try to please me
I got your number right here on my phone

Don't listen to everything they tell you
they wind you up with misinformation
the situation should not make you blue
all that fake news and intimidation

King Karloff's come back from his country gaff
everything's rosy Downing street's cosy
no news from the front no reason to laugh
thinking of Lagos and of Nairobi

Whatever happened to Trumpington's wall
the harder they come the further they fall

Sunday, 26 April 2020

napowrimo 2020 #26 coronavirus 28

Anti-body tests on stream dreamers dream beware
care homes hospices in our own homes who's counting
the dead they now forecast will be forty grand or more
support the lockdown defeat the virus
they're treating us like children the hot press screams

In Scotland we will be adult about this says Nicola Fish
the skies are blue bluer than they used to be
no haze today in this post production society of ours
no work no trains no cars go home you're barred

The Brexit backstop silly mid on has gone
they talk about the backdrop now what
ease the backdrop and all that clap trap trot
a public inquiry into all this palaver and
the way King Karloff handled this mess

Then there's this ding-a-ling with a telephone thing
I'm paranoid about the app to make it work
80% would have to download it
it's not an app it's a tracker and
a tracker is a trap that you don't want to fall into
oh it's okay phew because it's the NHS
that are planning to get this on stream
it's a testing and tracing app to save lives

Really do you believe what the Sunday papers say
Opt in to the anonymity of multiple countries
knowing where you are and what you're thinking
what you're doing and who you are talking to
I know what I think about that hows about you

It's easy with hindsight to say where things went wrong
to sing the Blame the culture blame the future song

Blame the present blame the past
blame the teacher blame the pupil
blame the widow blame the spinster
blame the Vatican blame Westminster

The political elite blame the scientists
for what they don't know but what they
don't know is that the scientists don't know
the truth is that no one knows and
the bottom line is we're facing the unknown

The trouble with the trouble is we have to stay at home
don't mix outside the bubble stay at home (drone drone)
save lives (I'm all for that) protect the NHS

However whatever happened to the promised PPE
the GMB and the TUC are still waiting to hear
meanwhile the stuff that we produce is being
sent elsewhere while we wait (sometimes in vain)
for basic stuff that's on a plane across the pond
who said if you buy cheap you (buy) suffer twice

Sunday brunch at the OK Coral
with Soul Power and the morality bunch
Yo-yo and the see-saw diet
die if you don't diet die if you do
who can you trust if the given must
is to ask you for money and more

Let your requests be known unto God
take care of the pennies and the pounds will fall off
or not as maybe or for a short while and
then you'll get fat again or fatter still but
the dollars will take care of themselves

Saturday, 25 April 2020

napowrimo 2020 #25 coronavirus 27

Covid-19 and all of that virus
Harry and the haberdashers of flash
never had it so good lay low furlough
papyrus poppycock and balderdash

Trumpington went up Capitol Hill
to fetch some disinfectant
the fool fell down the joke rebounds
amid much peals of laughter

Beetroot spaghetti and cornflake confetti
with cold stirred fried rice make something quite good
to chuck at the bride at her wedding day brunch
but there's owt for nowt in the lunch time steaks

They cook their own on their burner phones
with the red hot potato of HS2
the farcical social distance express
of parliament having returned from recess

They launch their new thingy into infinity
only to watch it crash into the night
King Karloff's website and all his henchmen
couldn't book tests for the nation again

Friday, 24 April 2020

napowrimo 2020 #24

Fanny said she wanted to play scrabble
picked up her cue and made a hundred break
The Riddler said scrabble is for rabble
Batman and Robin and that kind of freak

She shivers like crazy hates nudity
He shoots a double whammy towards her
She looks away thinking of the city
but the rotor lifts then sticks in her fur

If I had a relation in this town
she thinks I could beat that boo boy Riddler
equip me with a crib and dressing gown
paste him to the roof and call him fiddler

Like a jig-saw puzzle with missing tiles
central to her life another locus
she negates the future and walks for miles
putting the hex on his hocus pocus

Acre arcing she completes her mileage
crossing the diode bridge to Washington
pushing The Riddler into the silage
of his own mind the smell starts wafting down

She wished she could be gored by someone's horns
and vault into the ether not been born
24042020/Prompted by El Cashew

Thursday, 23 April 2020

napowrimo 2020 #23 coronavirus 26

When the smoke detector on the ceiling
looks like an alien staring at you
it probably is

Venus and Mars
were never like this

Stay at home
protect the NHS
from your vain imaginations

What came first
the seed or the plant
the cod or the roe
the man or the woman
the sun or the earth
whose nose knows who

Hard chicken comes from
hard boiled eggs
broken eggs make
omelette and frittata

Is a baton a thing to hit people with
or a lump of French bread
make your own

Stay at home
protect the NHS
save lives

Wednesday, 22 April 2020

napowrimo 2020 #22

In the belly of the ship
or the whale or the fish
diving in the deep end

Squirming digging for
worms deep deep down
in the belly of the ship
what yacht have you got

Saturday's are like that too
who knows what time they close
who knows what time they close

Deep deep down in
the belly of the whale
or the belly of the fish

What fish cod 'n' chips
what chips potato fries
what fries open your eyes
what eyes mince pies

What pies pork pies
more pies for your
bread and honey
keep your money
don't tell me lies

What's your name
Please Explain

Tuesday, 21 April 2020

napowrimo 2020 #21

Dandelion blue
Fashion on the internet
Blog blogging de blog

Monday, 20 April 2020

napowrimo 2020 #20 coronavirus 25

Mundane Monday the government
spokesman chokes he's another mug
he screams and shouts it out
we have been guided at all times
he cries lies more lies to cover up lies

blinded by science scientific advisors
don't blame the dog that guides you
hark at him barking up his own tree
there is a better way to live these days
without lies more lies to get by

for he knows not what we want
or how to separate the need from the greed
whatever happened to the PPE
I saw them squirming on the BBC
lies more lies to cover up more lies

Who's the lady with Mundane Monday
dressed much the same as yesterday
she smiles and everything seems fine
from Mannamead to Mutley Plain
for her to cover up lies with more lies

Boys and girls husbands and wives
stay home protect the NHS save lives
blast it from the rooftops baby
political lies surprise more lies
Mutley Plain is much the same

Sunday, 19 April 2020

napowrimo 2020 #19 coronavirus 24

Governments determine the statistics
the madness of all these logistics

They try not to lie - misled themselves
misleading us now telling us the lies
that they were told by their own demi-gods
King Karloff - Unsure Macron - Trumpington

Angry as angry people always are
our health depends upon us being cool
foolish as it may well seem from afar
bar con men making us some kind of fool

Relying on a shipment of duff goods
essential PPE from Antioch
misleading us - misled - this great mistake
it's something we can make on our home shores

The madness of all of these logistics
governments determine the statistics

Saturday, 18 April 2020

napowrimo 2020 #18 coronavirus 23

We've spoken about the word world war before
what comes next and what to do for best
when they thought we'd won world war one
another fifty million or maybe more died
the following year from the Spanish flu
What ever are we going to do
when we all start dropping like flies too
things were never like this before
four five six or maybe more perhaps
Vivid dreams with nothing to cling to
screaming into the primordial soup
indifferent as rapid eye motion
past conditional responses up front
Infectious as genetic disorders
congenital imperfections undone
mysterious happenings de rigueur
Thought projection now you're talking
literally virtual reality
psychoanalysis self harming
Scientific academic failure
antibody immunity vaccine
vaccination inconsideration
illness coronavirus personified

Friday, 17 April 2020

napowrimo 2020 #17 coronavirus 22

Can't believe the way they lie
don't answer innocent questions
couldn't run school dinners
let alone a pandemic exit

Where are the testing kits
where is the PPE
who is that bloke on the TV
telling lie after lie

The other guy stands there gurning
like a troglodyte gives the game away
with his body language when he speaks
it's just more of the same clap-trap

It's a political football but
none of them know the off side rule
they're kicking in different directions
and scoring nothing but own goals

The minister for whatsisname takes
a pot shot and hits the corner flag
the journalist shouts penalty but the ref
says no and boots the ball over the stand

They're way out of order and lying
through their broken teeth pity that
there's no dentists to go to right now
try the barbers sorry they're closed too

What are we going to do who are we
going to trust in these dark dark days
lockdown locked out for another
twenty one days and then a review

Reprieve maybe for the chosen few
but who's going to get the antidote first
the vaccination situation let's hope
the boffins can get it right

A big hand for the Doctors and Nurses
the genuine ones in all this mess this
coronavirus war keep calm stay home
relax don't forget support the NHS