Limerick attempt (again) ...

SHE VOLLEYS

She volleys the puck like a man

return it to her if you can

Don't use an ice pick

with your hockey stick

If you are a true Penguins fan

130518

As submitted to Mad Kane's Humor Blog for Limerick-Off Monday - Rhyme word : CAN at the end of any one line. (MadKane.com) 

Here's one for our Frank

Here's one for our Frank:

THE OLD OAK TREE

They say that squirrels birds and bees

all make their home in different trees

and juicy steaks hang off the branches

of meat trees and one guy that owns a

ruff and tumble biscuit tree says that's

the way the cookie crumbles then there's

the apple tree with two hundred and fifty

varieties grafted on one tree but there's

no end to creativity carnivore what a bore

there's always something more to see and

one man takes first prize for me it's not a

cricket bat he's growing on his willow tree

it's a chair and not just one he's got a field

of them growing out there and crab apple

tables to top it all and crafty beer trees

growing all types of pale ales the forest

is getting closer and the mushrooms are

taking over soon we'll all be in the Amazon

up the tidal creek without a paddle you see

or climbing up the old oak tree like me

030518

NaPoWriMo 2018 Conclusion

NaPoWriMo 2018

CONCLUSION

This was my tenth year of taking the challenge of thirty poems in thirty days, so I now have three hundred NaPoWriMo poems in the bag. As I have said before I only tend to get two or three decent pieces from each challenge and this year was no different. I did however, write several pieces about Plymouth and therefore I now have the beginnings of a Plymouth collection. I also managed to add a few bus poems to my pet hate collection, so all in all it was a successful month. May I leave you with a fun one?

ON THE RING AND RIDE

We're on the Ring and Ride and

the driver's fishing for compliments

checking the whether (or not) forecast

in the horror scope section of the Local Blag

All that can wait but we can't we're going to

be late for Coronation's treat and East pretenders

so please Mr Bus Driver give us a break and

put your Wellie to the floor and get us home

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Day Thirty

DAY THIRTY

DRAWN TO HER IN DROVES

The massive moon highlights the newborn day

no wonder that The Ancient Ones

thought that there were two suns and

those UFO'S that hide behind the clouds

are drawn to her in droves much like the tides

that rise by her magnetic pull and

even though she's fading now into the grey

being sucked up to the eye piece end of

the telescope of day as daylight turns to dawn

there's nothing more to say 300418

Day Twenty-Nine

DAY TWENTY-NINE

SUMMER'S WAITING

The seasons they change so fast

they come and go before you know

the leaves fall down onto the ground

and after winter's had her way

they spring back up upon the trees

the countryside brought to her knees

summer's waiting in the breeze

we have four seasons down our way

some places though have only two

hot and hotter or cold and colder

our end of course it's cold and cool

and warm and warmer if we're sweet

it never really gets too hot or cold

unless we're freezing feeling old

like Karl and Tracy I've been told

who just moved to Mali Timbuktu

what's the weather like down there

we asked but no-one really cares

290418

DAY TWENTY-EIGHT

ROUND ABOUT MIDNIGHT

To create the perfect dish

you need two types of pepper

sometimes three or four

add a touch of salt and sage

garlic ginger chives and celery

work your way through the alphabet

adding beans and butter butter beans if you like

avocado aubergine any combination of fruits

and/or veg pasta and potatoes and legumes

as long as there are two or three or more of each

and every letter under the English alphabet sun

sunflower oil and saffron I think you get the idea

mix it all up into an edible splodge

but don't forget that presentation is King

and perhaps Queen too for all of you domestic

goddesses out there Brighid and Branwen

Nike and Nyx Marici or Mama Killa

if they won't do chuck it in the skillet mix it to death

don't overdo it make sure you kill it and don't forget

that chips and chocolate round about midnight

on Tuesday and Thursday and Saturday and Sunday

is the best time to eat so I hope you're still hungry

280418

Day Twenty-Seven

DAY TWENTY-SEVEN

DEVON IN

THE MOVIES

Above the trees

the lake looks like

it's floating in the sky

And dawn's delayed

until Plymouth awakes

I'm walking these

steep asphalt hills

with rivulets of rain

streaming through my

shoes am I talking to the

wrong side of my brain

Omnibuses Charabancs

and Horse drawn Trams

all been there before me

why should I complain

And as the Gas Lighter

snuffs the last lamp out

the Barbican will sleep

until the tall ship sails

Cracked concrete hills

rivulets of (acid) rain

Devon in the movies

Ambrosia it's not

270418

Day Twenty-Six

DAY TWENTY-SIX

NOW I KNOW

(THAT YOU LOVE ME BABE)

Dotty not crazy the little dog laughed

and the lion laid down with the lamb

I told you that I love you yesterday

and I think I told you once before

The old tin man is long long gone

pushing up daisies and lying cold

Now I know that you love me Babe

I'll tell you more and much much more

I'm not the scarecrow that you think I am

I've got a heart of gold - I'm waiting for the

wizard to come back - to make me whole

When the sun the moon and stars line up

I hear that you're knocking down my door

beating on my heart strings pulling out my straw

Dotty not crazy the little dog laughed

and the lion laid down with the lamb

I told you that I love you yesterday

and I think I told you once before

The old tin man is long long gone

pushing up daisies and lying cold

Now I know that you love me Babe

I'll tell you more and much much more

I'm not the scarecrow that you think I am

I've got a heart of gold - I'm waiting for the

wizard to come back - to make me whole

When the sun the moon and stars line up

I hear that you're knocking down my door

beating on my heart strings pulling out my straw

260418

Day Twenty-Five

DAY TWENTY-FIVE

ON BARKERS HILL

The clouds they move

like juggernauts

across the sky

each one represents

a different world

they all have names

like Merrivale

and Transit Way

On Barkers Hill

behind some

distant ones

the sun appears

to light the day

An Orange Flash

bus or bust

then nothing more

then rain...

250418

Day Twenty-Four

DAY TWENTY-FOUR

SEED SUCKERS

Talking to the nattering mind thought chatter battering the soul They say it's good to talk but mad to answer yourself back but what do they know Doktir Q Doktir Zee Doktir who? Nairobi Ian Biro Eternity Tiny Tree Just when you think it's all over it starts again the same thoughts the same pain and of course the same insane old nameless names Why do they do that? They must think - sorry they don't think - I forgot they haven't got a brain that works like that Remember what we said many moons ago? The anagram of Eden is need Success is all we need to succeed There's a lot of seed suckers out there trying to pull the wool over the eyes of the proverbial what's his name? Thingy? Talking to the nattering mind thought chatter battering the soul They say it's good to talk but mad to answer yourself back but what do they know...

240418

Day Twenty-Three

DAY TWENTY-THREE

JUST BEFORE DAWN

walking in Central park

half the sky is red

but hardly by the time

the world gets out of bed

the canvas half repainted

mixed up messed up blue

I'm coughing up my guts

climbing these great hills

feeling like I'm stuck

inside a big balloon

hoping that it's tethered

to a firmly planted tree

I don't want it to pop

and fall back down to ground

I need to get a little closer

to the moon if only to confirm

that daylight comes sometime

just before dawn and after dark

230418

Day Twenty-Two

DAY TWENTY-TWO

FORGIVE ME

They hit you for six with

or without hockey sticks

dig up the dirt hurt you the

way that they've been hurt

Forgive me God for being so naïve

I only want to believe the best

if you fight you fall love conquers all

220418

Day Twenty-One

DAY TWENTY-ONE

POKING THROUGH THE RADIO

Cloudy Celsius versus Fahrenheit alright it's not so hot today but we're going to Looe anyway the sun is cracking the hard baked clouds and there's a bit of blue sky poking through the radio keeps asking us for money that we've not got they're more important than us of course they need our support fifty pounds or a hundred pounds would keep their station going for another fifteen minutes of shame pity we can't help them but there's always another channel to tune tunnel vision steadfast brand loyalty and all that jazz not on this show it's all pop goes the weasel what's the difference between a whistle and a whistle and flute it's all semantics or is it just slang re-tune the tranny but don't tell granny that the radio's on 210418

Day Twenty

DAY TWENTY

BIG BIG SUN

High and low clouds sandwich

the Dartmoor hilltops sweet

floating hills in a multi-coloured sky

Our Isambard might well have seen

the same sight from Saltash too

building bridges the only thing to do

Thick as thieves the unseen gold

that paves the mythical streets

at their feet the missing rainbow crows

The sun still waiting to breakthrough

to break another record all time high

for April since nineteen forty-nine

Then when the sun arrives to dominate the sky

the hills and clouds turn yellow tainted blue

big big sun big big sky blue sky

200418

Day Nineteen

DAY NINETEEN

AS DAY BITES

Orange streaks across the

sky blue city sky

in broken lines

The hill tops behind

still dark and not quite dawn

Putty cats and China

dolls on Dartmoor

If only chalk could talk

without those hands...

Christian Mill and will

this weekend bring a bitter pill

It's sunshine Daffs and Daisies now

and at Crownhill as day bites

the crazy orange streaks

have turned to white

190418

Day Eighteen

DAY EIGHTEEN

LATE AGAIN!

It's not just waiting for (buses) it's waiting on buses too

Just when you think you can get an early bath

(laugh) they stop at Tesco or Asda and make you wait

Late again! You just can't win the bus lottery

When you're three (buses) down and stuck outside Home Park

You might as well get a season ticket and call it a draw

Then you'll really suffer like all the other barbers there

Up the Pilgrims! - Argyle argie and all that razzmatazz

180418

Day Seventeen

DAY SEVENTEEN

EMBLAZONED ON THE YELLOW FLASH

Standing here waiting at the cold stop for the bus

you end up hating every car that passes by

Who took the public out of transport?

Who took the ting out of waiting (for the bus)?

Lifting one foot in front of the other

it's often easier to walk

Talking about brick walls and falling on deaf ears

shouting the odds don't/won't get you to work on time

Ting – it's my stop next – if the barber lets me off...

The thing (ting) perhaps about Plymouth buses is that

they/I/we don't understand what they mean by

the statement emblazoned on the Yellow Flash

Up to every fifteen minutes! What does that mean?

They only run every thirty minutes at the crucial time

when people are trying to get to and from work and...

I have to get three buses with a fifteen minute wait

between each one – ha! Maybe that's what they mean!

170418

Day Sixteen

DAY SIXTEEN

DON'T ASK HARRY

Barking like a Bandish Harry

he's yelling on somebody else's corner now

selling the same stuff but mixed down plenty

twenty going on forty-five fifteen years inside

plenty of candy immoral as Mandy

bubble gum he's not and it ain't much fun

aniseed for the munchy minded crunchy

Slowly giving Mutley a bad name

one wrap and Harry's got you hooked

cooked up on a silver platter

stitched up like a kipper nippers beware

if it sounds too good to be true

it almost definitely is don't ask Harry

there's no such thing as a free lunch...

160418

Day Fifteen

DAY FIFTEEN

WHAT THE FUTURE HOLDS

We don't know much about what the future holds

but the future holds more than we don't know now

revelation is progressive some say repressive

but they're the great unwashed...

Those that continue to hope in a brighter better future

will be rewarded with a greater sense of fulfilment a

heightened sense of awareness and a love

that empowers all things...

150418/DN

Day Fourteen

DAY FOURTEEN

SIXTEEN THINGS

You can dream a little loving

moving on to a hot lips kiss

Miss little Miss Understood

moody as Monday come home

me and my shadow are waiting

Wait hold on someone's here

there you go I knew it would work

park the motor and come on over

very nice to have you in town

nowt like folks to get yer back up

Super duper every time you lose

lost like this for a little while

mile after mile you trust in them

hem it up easy as you go along

song to sing or you can plan solid

I sold it so you can too

007 trust in the man from MI6

sixteen things that won't go wrong

song for singers sinners on song

wrong on right or right on wrong

140418

Day Thirteen

DAY THIRTEEN

PURPLE HAZE

He beats and bangs her drums until she comes

And flaps his wings and flies around the room

His winkle-pickers tapping to the tune

He introduces her to rock 'n' roll

He strips and bares his soul and starts to sing

Some people do seem to have such strange ways

When she begins to weep his guitar plays

Some people say this world is just a maze

He tells her that there's nothing much to do

And we're all living in a purple haze

Don't listen to the things that people say

It's Friday like any other Friday but

It's Friday the thirteenth and that means that

Strange things happen even stranger things are

Forecast ask Hitchcock and Castro et al

And all the different ones born on that day

He beats and bangs her drums until she comes

And flaps his wings and flies around the room

130418

Day Twelve

DAY TWELVE

REALLY?

at the top of the tallest tree where the squirrel and the Magpie meet............ zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz 120418

Day Eleven

DAY ELEVEN

SUPERMARKETFICIALITY

It's all in the mind or is it - what is it anyway about codology all those pieces of information ironed out on scraps of paper - I cause a commotion every time I pop to the local shops - when they say do

you want a plastic bag I say no thank you give me a brown paper bag please – then they throw a wobbler – it's all cobblers hold the shoes throw the boot in – but don't use those self service tills whatever you do – how many jobs have been lost so far and how many more people will lose their jobs – think about it if you need a part time job at the supermarket you're not going to get one any time soon because some mad robot has already got it - every one of those self service thingies represents at least three jobs lost forever – another pet hate of mine is buy two for the price of one I just really don't like the up-selling mentality on the chicken thigh shelf – and who are the winners and the losers in all of this supermarketficiality – it's all in the mind or is it? PS I'm making deliveries with the Milkman's Horse the Pony Express it's not but at least it knows the doors – I'm coughing like forty a day waking up every fourth minute and falling back to sleep – bulimic I'm not pneumonia next stop confused now certainly she put three chickens against the wall and told me to take my chops

110418

Day Ten

DAY TEN

CHUCKLE HOCK

Chuckle hock like you're not going to stop

Pop goes the weasel (and stoat) till next week

Seek and you will - find out - what you can do

Candorous as the pawn shop barber is

Isabel doesn't ride her trike no more

Ore iron ore any old iron Ron

Ronaldo I buy anything (dot) com

Come on those days have long long gone come on

Come on City it's time to do your stuff

Stuff the Mickey's tonight make me happy

Happy as Larry and up with the lark

Barking for England a walk in the park

Dark as a daffodil - a daffodil?

A daffodil? - That's daft - like chuckle hock

100418

Day Nine

DAY NINE

MAYFLOWER OR ARMADA

Overheard at Royal Parade

On the back of the forty three

Alright John? Alright Tom?

Who's harder Mayflower or Armada?

What about the Southway bruiser?

Ernie (will) settle with West Park

If they still want to fight tonight

Never mind the winner who's the loser?

Back to school tomorrow John

Back to school tomorrow Tom

Who's harder Mayflower or Armada?

Dream on John dream on Tom

090418

Day Eight

DAY EIGHT

TO BUDSHEAD CREEK

The angry Troglodyte motorbike gangs

with their flailing chains of steel

Pull wheelies on the forest track outback

and slip slide towards the creek

They live in caves on the housing estate

not a million miles away

On sunny days we walk along the path

to Tamerton Lake and watch

The little boats that only seem to

go bobbing on the ebb and flow

At the bottom of the garden the forest

dips down to Budshead Creek

080418

Day Seven

DAY SEVEN

CONFINED

Sitting here confined by the flu listening to radio five live

'Cos I won't pay Sky there's not a lot that I can do to change the score

I've heard them say it's just a game but what do they know they're just a bore

070418

Day Six

DAY SIX

FRIDAY MORNING

(NEAR TAMERTON LAKE)

The weekend starts here and the neighbours are up with the lark out in the garden mowing the grass trimming the hedge painting the fence cleaning the pool they must have nothing better to do – and I'm up in bed with a contagious bout of the flu sweating streams one minute and shivering like a troglodyte the next and now that I've started to cough my throat is really getting sore – the neighbours are at it again they've just come back from the tidal creek with fish and foraged mushrooms and fallen tree branches to fuel their barbecue tonight it's not even a sunny day but they're out there shouting the odds the radio blaring and the dogs barking and the kids crying what am I going to do?

060418

Day Five

DAY FIVE

THE SECOND SUN

The sunsets in the west every night the second sun sets right behind the first - one night three red flashes appeared to come from the second sun then a flash of red lightening streaked across the darkening sky

050418

Day Four

DAY FOUR

STANDING HERE WAITING

Waiting here at daft o'clock crazy

for the bus 'cos I love my Baby

To the factory gate to earn some dollar

it's better than being out of collar

A drop of rain on my swede don't faze me

some of the things you do amaze me

So I'll keep on taking those purple pills

'cos the Doctor says they ward off ills

I love the City buses but I hate the hills

you couldn't walk far like Jack and Jill

It's a pity that they always hang a trout

to make me late for any shout

Swizzles not Matlow but I mop the decks

on the factory floor of Dick's and Beck's

Love hearts for my Baby 'cos she's so sweet

everything I do's to give my lover a treat

040418

Day Three

DAY THREE

BEFORE DAWN

I just looked up when I saw her peeping

(at me) through the clouds what a wonderful

way to start the day with the face of the

moon smiling at me before dawn –

then over the Hoe the sunlight burst through -

they saw it in Devonport too...

030418

Day Two 2018

DAY TWO

IF ONLY

Monday comes like a bolt out of the blue – the blue skies have turned to shades of grey - and they say that there's more snow on the way - the beast from the east is relentless - and the bus to Plymouth takes longer than the flight from Dubai - stuck in Birmingham and I'm not talking Alabama hot - Georgia it's not - more clowns than circuses and Brum's got a lot - Bristol next stop and then Home Park - up the Pilgrims - you could make the Premiership in two years time with the right investment - if only if - if only...

020418

Day One 2018

DAY ONE 2018

AFTER THE WAR

They built this street a hundred years before

And rebuilt it sometime after the war

A farmers field in eighteen thirty three

The Victorians changed all that you see

Throwing up new houses and building roads

In nineteen twenty something art deco

Those metal frames with little panes of glass

replaced the sash cord windows of the past

But Hitler's bombs put paid to idle dreams

When the war was over - new housing schemes

Although somehow this terrace row still stands

The sunburst plasterwork replaced by hand

And all those little panes put back in place

Then double glazing came and changed the face

On and on into this new century

They say it takes a special eye to see

What was once there and oh who really cares

I know I change the mood – I want to share

That's it that's all I really have to say

About bits of St Budeaux on this day

10418

Introduction 2018 30 Poems in 30 days

INTRODUCTION 2018


Hi, this is my tenth year doing the NaPoWriMo challenge of thirty poems in thirty days. I know from past experience that only a small percentage of the pieces will be up to scratch, but it is always worth the effort of taking the challenge because one or two of the poems will shine and make it all worthwhile. So, may I take this opportunity to wish everybody taking part this year a successful NaPoWriMo.

My Sweet Lord...

MY SWEET LORD

I worship you in every single way

sing praises to your name day after day

Oh thank you thank you thank you My Sweet Lord

thank you that my salvation is assured

Forgive me Lord each time I go astray

forgive me when I fail you each day

I pray Sweet Lord that others will be saved

that they will no longer be enslaved

I pray that I can share your word each day

and know that you're the truth the life the way

090917/1