15/20

 

Napowrimo 2023/my15th year/day 20

THE DECORATION WAS DIFFERENT

Nothing much has changed but why would it

why indeed should it have

different people come and go

although if they come here they often stay

until they die

We had to take him out in a wooden overcoat

is the accepted response

when asking about an old friend

The decoration was different

but not noticeably apart from the fact that

the ceiling had been painted bright orange

although the manager reliably informed me that

it was actually a subtle shade of tangerine

The bar looked much the same as it always did

although I could tell that it had been refurbished

recently to accommodate several new fangled

beer pumps that were now sitting in pride of place

The decoration was different

but not noticeably

apart from the gigantic TV screens

hanging off each and every wall showing

different sports all night and day

I don't even know why that united pretender

is even playing for England

one of the screen watchers screamed

although no one else really noticed

He might have scored a cracking goal

against that Roy of the Rovers team

a couple of years ago in the mickey mouse cup

but he hasn't done a lot since

and certainly not at this level of football

the irate TV watcher continued

looking away from the big screen in disbelief

How many goals has he gifted the opposition with

over the years and why the Eccles cakes

does this manager stick with him

and pick him for the team every time

moan moan moan mister moaner moaned

The decoration was different

but not noticeably to the casual observer

the ash trays had gone off the tables and

had been replaced by an outdoor smoking hovel

choke yourself to death why don't you

I gave up seventeen years ago

the best move I ever made

as for the beer I can take it or leave it

each to his own poison though and may

whatever turns you on make you happy

The decoration was different

but not noticeably 

until I got talking to an octogenarian

he was sipping green tea

and self medicating with cannabis oil

good snuff I quipped trying to make a joke

try some of this united he said to me

it's got antioxidants in it

I think I'll stick to the beer I replied

The decoration was different

but not noticeably

apart from the cocktail bar

and the uniformed bar staff

they were all dressed in tartan waistcoats

white shirts and black Dickie Bow ties

I asked for a whisky and they gave me a menu

we have one hundred and sixty eight

different whiskies they told me

as I perused the stock list

do you not have Irish Whiskey I asked

Oh yes sir of course we do sir three bags full sir

they're on a different menu with the American

Japanese and Canadian Whiskeys sir

Phew this was hard work I only came in for

a quick pint of bitter and a whisky chaser

and here I was with my reading binoculars on

trying to decipher the small print on this daft list

I finally chose a single malt

and then made the mistake of asking for a double

sorry sir said the barman we don't do doubles

you can have a large one if you like

what's the difference I asked tentatively

about seventeen and a half pence he replied

what's that in old money I enquired

hoping to catch the youngster out

three and six sir he retorted without hesitation

okay I said give me two singles

and quickly added in the same glass please

The bottom line is

nothing was different apart from the decoration

20042023