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Thursday, 21 April 2011

NaPoWriMo 2011 Day Twenty One

My Ghazal attempt as prompted at NaPoWriMo.net

Here's one I wrote some time ago from a slightly different set of rules to the one I wrote today.

LATE AT NIGHT
There's someone like you that he likes to meet late at night.
She puts on her face and her dancing feet late at night.

Late and later all the better he loves to date her,
dancing to, rocking to, socking the beat late at night.

The beautiful truth comes out when she opens her mouth
to speak in his ear, and her smile's so sweet late at night.

Close and closer all the better, he loves to get to
her red hot body, he can feel the heat late at night.

Natasha is dancing, she rewinds her mind, only
to find, that her lover is such a cheat late at night.
21042011
Posted to Writer's Island

Day 21 2010
Day21 2009
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15 comments:

  1. Andy Sewina21 April 2011 at 00:42

    I wrote a different Ghazal in 2008, to a different set of rules, I've just re-read it and figured out that the end line rhyme on the first line of each couplet rhymes with the word in the centre of the second line in the same couplet.Phew! Kiss

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  2. M. A. S.21 April 2011 at 08:28

    I read the poem before I read the notes about the form. I like it. So I may try to see what I can do with the Ghazal.

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  3. Anonymous21 April 2011 at 08:58

    A good ghazal, as far as I'm concerned.

    The extraneous matter spoils it a little, however. Can't you blank it out with white?

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  4. Stan Ski21 April 2011 at 09:00

    Clever anagram in the last stanza... the little devil!

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  5. Andy Sewina21 April 2011 at 09:56

    Thanks Tilly, I think I've fixed it, it reads okay in Mozilla Firefox, but Internet Explorer says I've got errors on the page, something's contaminated somewhere.

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  6. Dave King21 April 2011 at 12:07

    I was feeling the heat late last night... but, no, you wouldn't be interested in hearing about that - would you?

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  7. Andy Sewina21 April 2011 at 14:09

    Hi Dave, tell me about it...

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  8. vivinfrance21 April 2011 at 15:01

    Very good ghazal. Shame about the cheating bloke, it was going swimmingly up to then. I couldn 't find the anagram, but I am notoriously dense.

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  9. Andy Sewina21 April 2011 at 17:40

    Aha Stan, I thought you might spot it, it's what they call a veiled reference in Ghazal speak.

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  10. flaubert21 April 2011 at 18:21

    Excellent ghazal, Andy, and I like Viv, can't find the anagram. I must read it again:)

    Pamela

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  11. Judy Roney21 April 2011 at 22:18

    What a great ghazal. What a cheater! I'm glad she knows it. See, I really got into this story.
    http://judyidliketosay.blogspot.com/2011/04/second-thoughts.html

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  12. Linda22 April 2011 at 01:44

    I, like Judy, got wrapped up in the story. Wonderful rhythm.

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  13. Mary22 April 2011 at 02:37

    Excellent, Andy. I would say you have mastered the ghazal!

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  14. Gloria22 April 2011 at 03:48

    Excellent! You make it look easy! I know it's not!!!

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  15. Madeleine Begun Kane22 April 2011 at 09:21

    I'm not familiar with that form but I enjoyed it.

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