Posted to Writer's Island
YO BRAVO
Nic spells it out and shouts in frustration
frustrating me too, tarred with the same brush
brush strokes for beginners, alphabet blues
blue words for fingertip spelling with Nic.
Repeat after me, and do it like this
this is the best way to do it for her,
her sight has gone, and she can hardly hear,
hearing is so difficult, I repeat.
Alpha beat a gammer with a stick, no
no, no, that's the wrong alphabet, geek!
Geek: it's all Greek to me, he starts to shriek!
Shriek and you shall find, what's after alpha?
Bravo, Charlie said, and dealt her echo
echo of new fangled things, yo bravo!
26042011
Day 26 2010
Day 26 2009
The repetition theme goes well with the subject of impaired hearing - also the pattern of repetition stresses the need to do so. You spelt it out well!
ReplyDeleteClever take on a sad subject: I should know - my hearing is getting pretty useless. I just had a skype call and couldn't hear a thing, only lipread the video! And then I discovered the earphone jack lying on the desk. So it's more my brain than my hearing!
ReplyDeleteYou've really got across well the feelings of frustration, Andy, in a clever way! Yo bravo!
ReplyDeleteThe puns are fast and furious in this one - I like "Shriek and you shall find" - but they work with the repetition, reinforcing the idea of muddled communication and understanding.
ReplyDeleteThe relationship adds to voice in this piece. I can see them going after it together. The last stanza is quite clever.
ReplyDeleteAndy, the repetition works well in this piece. It would be difficult to lose our sense of hearing.
ReplyDeletePamela
Andy, I have been sitting with my sister the past few days. We both wear hearing aids when we remember to put them on. Me thinks you have been listening in on our conversations. And actually they even make sense sometimes, lol. Great piece about real frustration,
ReplyDeleteElizabeth
I have to say that I typically do not prefer reading poems that have the kind of repetition from the ending of one line to the start of the next. But, I agree with the others who have already commented, the repetition really works well in this piece. Well done, Andy!
ReplyDeleteNice. There's so much going on hear. I love the different alphabets. The Phonetic Alphabet takes me way back. Sounds good in my head, too. Your poems have such a rhythm.
ReplyDeleteBravo!