ALL POETRY TITLES ARE IN BLUE + ALL SONG TITLES ARE IN RED
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LAST STAND
I went to the new bus shelter
on Churchill Way and looked
down at Salford Ski Slope.
Like everything else
it looked neglected.
Grass had started to grow
through the white squares.
No plastic bread crate
toboggan, no mangled bike
frame without wheels,
no toughened glass
panels lying about.
In fact it looked too neat -
the grass banking had
recently been mown.
I looked away in
search of a 52 bus...
Then it caught my eye
a single plywood panel -
resting at the bottom
of the slope!
DW1993CCLSIS
MY TWO STRING VIOLIN!
I got meself a Tennis Bat
it only had one string
I thought it was a Banjo
but it wouldn't swing.
So I took it down to
the Viola man -
and this is what he say,
He said: I see you've got
yerself a 'one string thing'
it must've cost a packet
and it makes a racket!
But, If yer wanna make
that rot-box swing!
Yer gonna have to get
yerself another string.
So I toddled on down to
The Ukelele Shop and
got meself a bass string
put on top!
Now, you want to hear
my, Two-String-Thing!
Swing, two string swing,
swing, two string swing!
You want to hear my
Two-String-Guitar swing!
Swing, two string swing,
swing, two string swing!
You want to hear my
Two-String-Violin!
DW19992
I went to the new bus shelter
on Churchill Way and looked
down at Salford Ski Slope.
Like everything else
it looked neglected.
Grass had started to grow
through the white squares.
No plastic bread crate
toboggan, no mangled bike
frame without wheels,
no toughened glass
panels lying about.
In fact it looked too neat -
the grass banking had
recently been mown.
I looked away in
search of a 52 bus...
Then it caught my eye
a single plywood panel -
resting at the bottom
of the slope!
DW1993CCLSIS
MY TWO STRING VIOLIN!
I got meself a Tennis Bat
it only had one string
I thought it was a Banjo
but it wouldn't swing.
So I took it down to
the Viola man -
and this is what he say,
He said: I see you've got
yerself a 'one string thing'
it must've cost a packet
and it makes a racket!
But, If yer wanna make
that rot-box swing!
Yer gonna have to get
yerself another string.
So I toddled on down to
The Ukelele Shop and
got meself a bass string
put on top!
Now, you want to hear
my, Two-String-Thing!
Swing, two string swing,
swing, two string swing!
You want to hear my
Two-String-Guitar swing!
Swing, two string swing,
swing, two string swing!
You want to hear my
Two-String-Violin!
DW19992
SWEET NOTHINGS
To my secret lover
just to let you know,
that I can't live
without my girlfriend
'cos I love her so!!
How I wish that
she was near -
how I dream that
she was here.
So I could whisper
in her ear:
Sweet, sweet, sweet,
sweet nothings!
That only she can hear.
Lots of pots and pans of love
and pockets overflowing...
But without my girlfriend near -
but without my lover here,
there ain't no way of knowing:
Sweet, sweet, sweet,
sweet nothings!
That only she can hear.
From your secret love...
Guess who?
28701
LYRICIST SEEKS MUSICIAN
I can't do what you can do.
Like Dylan, Lennon + Lou can do!
' Cos I can't write a tune - like you!
And very soon, if I don't hear from you!
I'll have a zillion words to throw away!
Call Danny today:0911-555-4999
DW9797
COWARDY CUSTARDS
Last one to the bottom's
a Cowardy custard said
little Joey aged five.
He was seated behind
his baby brother,
Christopher aged two in
their plastic breadcrate
toboggan, precariously
perched at the top of
Salford Ski Slope.
(Bet not many people
know about that.)
Next down was
Brian aged seven.
He slid to the bottom
on a mangled bike frame
without any wheels.
But the fastest and best
skier was Carol aged six,
on a piece of toughened
glass from the old bus
shelter on Churchill Way.....
Previously published in
Cowardy Custard's Last
Stand in Salford 1992
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