NaPoWriMo 2013 Day Nineteen

NaPoWriMo 2013
Day Nineteen

Today’s prompt at Napowrimo.net comes to 
us from a list that Daisy Fried put together: 
Write a poem in the form of a personal ad!
Or, if you like, try any kind of want ad. 
Personal ads, though, do have a kind of poetry to them. 
The personal ads of the London Review of Books are 
particularly famous, and have even spawned a book. 
When I was younger, one of my favorite guilty pleasures 
was getting a copy of the local alternative newspaper and 
reading through the personal ads for (a) witty ones and 
(b) really horrible ones. One of my favorites was a witty one, 
which went something like this:
Antonymically Correct?
Ham-fisted, vindictive milquetoast seeks ineducable, filthy 
harridan to castigate, bore, and neglect. 

Try and top that, if you like. (Oh, and by the way, the 
personal ad doesn't actually have to be about you, of course. 
Feel free to invent every last thing about it). Happy writing!

Here’s mine:

HELP!

Beatles fan wltm similar

perhaps please please me at the cinema
or Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band

Old codger coffin dodger hold my hand

190413

Day Nineteen last year.