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Monday 19 January 2009

Monday Poetry Train Revisited #11

Posted to Monday Poetry Train Revisited :
@ PIER HEAD
By the Mersey
yesterday
a carry out
to take away
cold night
corpse sleeps
newsprint blanket
cardboard cot
drunken dreamer
destitute
old at twenty
friend of mine
Frankie Vine
found dead
@ Pier Head.
AS21084
As submitted to Liverpool's Poem800 at: www.poem800.com

16 comments:

  1. Tragic, but increasingly likely.

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  2. Hi Tony, it was September 1984!

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  3. this reads like an obituary.. short, maybe fittingly so..

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  4. Thanks Floreta, you're spot on!

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  5. The short lines with no breaks really drives the imagery with the same relentlessness as discovering the news 24 years ago.

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  6. short lines like the short life of your friend...

    a well done tribute

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  7. yes, AP, and the curt end couplets create an odd sing-song that works.

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  8. Hi Julia, I tried to make them like newspaper headlines, I think...

    Hi Jeeves, you're old at twenty if you don't make twenty-one.

    Thanks Artpredator!

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  9. Hi Danika, many thanks for that!

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  10. Hi Sweet Talking Guy,
    I think I read at Poetry Train that this poem is in memory of a friend of yours? The style here of 2 or 3 words/stanza emphasizes his short life as well as the brutality of living on the streets. (with spare belongings, minute by minute, not even day by day ...at times)
    I'm sorry you lost your friend. It sounds like this was a long time ago.

    Hugs,
    gel

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  11. I didn't see what what coming. It's always sad when this sort of thing happens, now or 20 plus years ago.


    Sorry I'm not able to be in Sale, Cheshire tonight. I was cool once.

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  12. Hi Gel. It was a long time ago - but these things still happen.

    Hi Carole, so young, so sad!

    I didn't make it to the Sale Poetry night either, as I've come dome down with a stinking cold.

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  13. I remember the name but was never sure if he was a fictional character.

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  14. Hi Stan, sometimes you have to change the name to protect the innocent... I worked with Frankie in the Isle of Man - real character, fictional name.

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