Some Limericks for Mad Kane

Here's some Limericks I wrote, all prompted by Mad Kane -

Please stop smoking already. Don’t dicker.

Tobacco is worse than strong liquor

I've heard that your friends say

You smell like an ashtray

Go on give up, don’t beg to differ

300513

A woman was feeling quite ill

She told quack Jack her name was Jill

He gave her a smack

Somewhere on her back

And sent her to bed with a pill

270513

A woman was trying to ink

a love heart while all dressed in mink

She wrote I love Fred

then heard he was dead

And ordered another stiff drink

190513

A Vampire with too much red ink

And not enough blue blood to drink

Flew after a queen

To fulfil his dream

But she was a he dressed in pink 

190513/1

A fellow was trying to buff

His car with a cloth much too rough

The blue became green

And obscured the screen

His wife said I think that’s enough

140513