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Tuesday, 8 April 2014

NaPoWriMo 2014 Day Eight

Day Eight

And now for today’s (optional, as always!) prompt. Today, let’s rewrite a famous poem, giving it our own spin. While any famous poem will do, if you haven’t already got one in mind, why not try your own version of Cesar Vallejo’s Black Stone Lying on a White Stone? If you’re not exactly sure how such a poem could be “re-written,” check out this recent poem by Stephen Burt, which riffs on Vallejo’s. Happy writing!

I did my version of Shakespeare's sonnet 18


ON THE EIGHTH DAY
On the eighth day god created Manchester
More lovely than any place he made
Rough winds and rain to come before Easter
Summer’s over before the world cup’s played

And yet a heat wave has been forecast soon
The sick squid all rides free unfair funfair
This week the planets line up with the moon
It’s not coincidence that we’ll be there

But our eternal summer’s still to come
As everything around us fades away
Our fair ground at Platt Fields will still be fun
And the eternal tightrope will not fray

So long as we with third eye still can see
Enslave the queen and this gives life to me
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My Day Eight from 2013 

6 comments:

  1. Love the poem Danny! I long for an eternal summer without wasps.

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  2. Thank you Doctor! Our day will come.

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  3. Manchester...? More lovely, yes... More temperate...?... I suppose if you're a City fan... over the years... Derbies excepted...!

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  4. Thanks Stan, The free bus between Piccadilly and Victoria railway stations was once described as 'The best little bus ride in the world'.

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  5. Danny,

    I really have to say that I have read some of your poems and I am quite impressed! It really does take such effort to do what you are doing--honing your poetry skills. I especially like what you did with Shakespeare's sonnet. You made it your own in a unique way. I feel like you still stayed true to the poems form and to Shakespeare in general. I enjoy your imagery like in the line "But our eternal summer’s still to come" and especially in your first two lines. I really get the sense of what/ how you feel, "On the eighth day god created Manchester/More lovely than any place he made." You do an excellent job at SHOWING how you feel verses telling me. This is really great work.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you very much, mrshannahjdaniel.

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