2021 #8

 

Napowrimo 2021

Day EIGHT

HELLO AM I EVEN DANCING

They come in a yellow van

to collect me from work everyday

sometimes they drag me home screaming

Take your tablets when we tell you to they say

funnelling them down my throat

I don't like them I shout I don't want them

and I hate you more than you love Eccles Cakes

We don't like you either they reply in unison

but we have to come here to help you

to make sure you don't harm yourself

so shut up or we'll flaming batter you

After they think that I have fallen asleep

in my supa dupa reclining chair in front of the TV

they talk to each other about the disco last night

and how many Pernod and blacks they swallowed

Blooming Nora how long is it since I went to a disco

I used to do the Tamla Walk at the Ocean Ballroom

but they won't remember that I don't suppose

After the meals on wheels lady goes home

they undress me drag me upstairs and put me to bed

Do I really remember that or am I dreaming

hello am I even dancing around the ballroom

or am I hallucinating in the bedroom on the medication

that they just stuck down my throat sideways

08042021

2021 #7

 

Napowrimo 2021

Day SEVEN

HELLO AM I EVEN COOKING

I used to be the head chef at the Old Bamboo

but hello am I even cooking these days

someone comes to make my dinner every day

they take the packet out of the freezer

and bung it in the microwave for two minutes

They won't even let me boil or scramble an egg

I tried to make my own breakfast yesterday

but my home help came and turned the toaster off

You could burn yourself she told me sternly

They know absolutely nothing about cooking

but one of them says she has a slow cooker at home

I said Who's that your husband but she didn't laugh

The other girl said she's got an NVQ in housekeeping

I can believe that because she's not very quick

Whatever I do it's always my fault

The girls that come every day are never wrong

so when they say I can't have steak and chips

they're only telling me that for my own good

because I'd be too dangerous to cook it

I've started making no bake fridge cakes

Cheesecake to die for and Mississippi Mud Pie

I really want to make cinnamon rolls

but I'm not allowed to use the oven at night

or in the daytime when my helpers come

because they don't know how to use it either

07042021

2021 #6

 

Napowrimo 2021

Day SIX

HELLO AM I EVEN TRYING

They come every morning to make my breakfast

Have you taken your tablets today

one of them asks me knowing that I haven't

there's some nice water there she tells me

you can sip it with your tablets if you like

Thank you I reply biting into my toast

They turn the telly on it's the shopping channel

I ignore them as they start drooling at gadgets

Ooh I want a spray mop says one of them

Yeah the other one agrees they're flipping cool

They're like the Emperor's new clothes I tell them

What are - they say together - what are you on about

The spray mops I tell them somebody'll suss them out

You what – they say - they're the best thing since sliced bread

Where does all the dirt go then I ask them

I dunno says one of them maybe it sucks it up

Dream on I tell them it just gets pushed around the floor

Of course they don't believe me and they order one

I'm only trying to help you I tell them

I know dear says the older carer take your tablets now

I put them in my mouth and spit them into my hanky

I don't need this medication every day

I'm not taking it anyway hello am I even trying

06042021

2021 #5

 

Napowrimo 2021

Day Five

HELLO AM I EVEN SNORING

I like to watch football on TV

but they think football is like rugby

they don't understand the beautiful game

they turn the TV over and watch the adverts

I just sit there and stare at the kitchen wall

They play with their mobile telephones

and put likes on things that they think they like

I like watching football but I wouldn't take them

imagine them going to a proper game

in a proper stadium with loads of fans

They think that fans can only blow cold air

which is nearly true as a lot of fans

talk a lot of hot air about their teams

I try and get up from my reclining chair

but trip on the mat and fall flat on my face

they come over and help me to get back up

Just tell us if you need the bathroom they say

Pride comes before a fall they tell me later

I don't really know where they read that though

I'm not even sure if they can both read

I just want to watch the football I tell them

Why don't you have an afternoon nap they say

you can watch your football after the adverts

I'm not tired I don't need to go to sleep

hello am I even snoring help me please

05042021

2021 #4

 

Napowrimo 2021

Day Four

HELLO AM I EVEN WANTED

Yesterday they told me to fill the machines

today they said don't touch anything or else

sometimes I get really confused about things

they say that I'm being lazy but I do try

The bubble gum machines get very sticky

I asked if I could make them nice and clean

but they told me it wasn't my job to do that

don't touch anything or we'll batter you

You're getting a pay rise - so the maximum amount

will be the minimum wage - they tell me

I used to get plenty more than that

but they didn't raise my wages for ages

Do they need me hello am I even wanted

No we know you know zilch about nothing

04042021

2021 #3

 Napowrimo 2021

Day Three

HELLO AM I EVEN EATING

I ask what we're having for dinner

We're having a carry out they reply

Oh good I respond can I have fried chicken

If you can order it they say laughing

I go to the pay phone in the hall

but I don't have any coins that fit

Have you got a two bob bit I ask them

Sorry love we don't use money these days

How ever do they buy things I think sideways

We'll have to go to the chippy then I say

Nooo they respond in tandem not today

we'll make it and carry it out to the greenhouse

That's not a carry out Darlink I say

Hello am I even eating ice cream

03042021

2021 #2

 

Napowrimo 2021

Day Two

PIGEON FRENCH

I sing your sonnets drinking wine

Iambic whatsits longer lines

Jardin du Luxembourg

Is drinking cognac still a crime

a lark in the park with a berk named Dirk

Question mark internal rhyme

As Parisian as Baudelaire

je t'aime the way you write those rhymes

pigeon french but I don't care

brackets dots at ends of lines

I love the way you waste your time

and meow when you watch postman pat

I heard you fought at brandywine

do you still look so cooking fat

Iambic whatsits longer lines

I sing your sonnets drinking wine

02042021

2021 #1

 DAY ONE

LIKE SUDOKU

They don't listen to me

I shout out all the answers

the ones I don't know

as well as the ones that I do

The questions aren't hard

they're logical like sudoku

multiple choice one from three

or sometimes one from four

Who wants to be a millionaire

The Chase Family Fortunes

I sit in my chair and bark at the TV

but they never listen to me

01042021

Napowrimo 2021 Intro...

 

NAPOWRIMO 2021

INTRODUCTION

It's napowrimo time again, the challenge is to write thirty poems, one for each day in April. This will be my thirteenth year and you can read all of my previous entries on this blog. You can search the internet for prompts if you think it will help you with ideas for poems and you can post your work to numerous sites if you crave feedback. So, Happy NaPoWriMo enjoy the challenge.

www.sewina.blogspot.com

Here's a little something to set the mood, Exodus prompted by Nimfa Gabuyo Sewina.

EXODUS

eventually everything turns to dust

long ago perhaps in a time that is now lost

nasty creatures roamed the earth

preying on lesser life forms

in a wilderness of shame or did they

who really knows what happened

before the dawn of time

some say that raging seas covered the planet

others argue that glacial ice blighted the land

one man's riches is another man's rust

and the fact is that theory is fact unwrapped

dangling there like the emperor's new clothes

but nobody really knows why would they

but it seems the wicked world is still intact

or so they the great unwashed tell me

and heading for a brilliant fall ,as the globe warms

climate change will always be with us

rainbows and umbrella's can't stop a hail of bullets

it's the same old yarn hook line and sinker

beer before breakfast exodus no not yet

31032021

Ice Age Revisited

 IF THE TRUTH BE KNOWN

Something happened before the ice cream man came

to town and all the earth froze over

speculation intimidation and other words

screaming off the pages some hyphenated

punctuated with exclamation marks

long before commas and full stops were invented

many describing worlds of words bigger than marmalade

and with more letters than a pillar box

on the last posting day before Christmas

so when the fishing smacks went down

some say that dinosaurs roamed the earth

and different types of humanoids evolved

but shut the door what really happened

if the truth be known nobody really knows

except for the fact that something went very badly wrong

demonic degenerates dignitaries with holes in heads

shrunken brains an unevolved species of plant eating mammals

living in the canopy of trees others underground some in caves

a warring world of hand walking acrobats

clamouring to eke out a basic existence

screaming without words self strangulation

an unintelligible language of frustration

pretending to be something that was never meant to be

individuals living in a counterfeit universe

the copy-cat intellectuals of the pre-dawn

fighting for the right to be heard to be seen

to be who they were wrongly told that they were meant to be

the parallel universe planting thoughts upside down inside out

outlandish as a troglodyte on heat

who would have thought that eternity

had anything to do with all their mess

but time or the concept of it that we now know and use

the time that we keep and rely upon didn't yet exist

the different ones came and went some stayed

buried forever in the quick setting sand

for us for you and I to discover rediscover dig out of the clay

for us to adjudicate upon contemplate and marvel at today

but even in a perfect world not many barber shop quartets

butchers bakers or cake makers would ever find the truth

03082019/DN

Shirkers

 I wrote this one a while ago, but have now rewritten it slightly...

WATCHERS

Clock watchers at Dicks and Becks

the warehouse where they wear cool specs

Then one day shock horror

the clocks were changed for mirrors

Now the shirkers look at one another cold

and watch themselves grow old

230618/07022021

Vile viral virus...

 

PHARMASAURUS

There's a new dinosaur in the room

during this vile viral virus

exceptions to the rules apply

Don't throw away the instructions

read the small print

read the very small print twice

Take one tablet a day

for the rest of your life

Two pills twice a day

at breakfast and supper

Don't drink anything fermented

weekdays or weekends

Have you had your flu jab yet

when do you get your vaccination

Are you able to come to the pharmacy

and queue outside in the rain

Don't worry we can send your meds

through the post once you've got the app

Send us your script and your bank details

and authorise us to debit your account

Sit back and enjoy the lockdown it's illegal

to leave your house without good reason

Exceptions to ze rulz apply during

this vile viral virus

There's a new dinosaur in the room

Pharmasaurus

30012021

Something I wrote in April last year...

 LOCKDOWN

The lunatics are running the asylum

Trumpington and Twopence

have no cents sense

The trouble is we're all locked in

locked up

Lockdown not in my town

I'd rather be locked in the pub

drinking beer

whisky

vodka lemonade

But I'm afraid

The lunatics are running the asylum

King Karloff with his brand new prince

Nicola Fish

Haggis dish

cover yer kite in public hen

In Singapore they're building more

hospitals for the rich and poor

'cos they're expecting a second wave

of Coronavirus on their shores

Rub-a-dub-dub three men in a pub

and how do you think they got there

through the back door

where they pulled up a chair

the doctor the vicar the undertaker

smoking cigars supping boilermakers

The trouble is we're all locked in

locked up

Lockdown your town too

and the lunatics are running the asylum

29042020

More from 2020...

 

FOR FITS SAKE

They told me at sixteen

You're too young to die

but we don't think you'll make twenty one

definitely not twenty five

In my seventh decade now

fighting fit for fits sake

Walking stick football

forty then forty five

came and went

Attack defence sub

Subbuteo Shove ha'penny

armchair TV

A new millennium

appeared swallowed me up

with all its apps aches

likes and dripping taps

Mobile madness

inbuilt sickness

inane sadness

The fat controller

breaks out Brexit

petit dejeuner demain

flu jab over

covert covid

Hold out your hand

and we'll stab you again

31122020/1

HAPPY NEW YEAR

 

NEARLY OVER

Another year kaput

the air borne

mind blown

window pain

No pane of glass

or grain of sand

everything swept

under the rug

to make a fresh start

Even the no mug flies have flown

We alone are caught

in the spiders web

Nearly over

it's not even begun

covid-21

31122020

For Nimfa...

 

DIFFERENT TYPE FONTS

She gets up and starts to dance

mellow music fills the studio

Creative innovative she comes

scissors in hand scrambling flowers

oranges bananas apples sometimes

colour blind but without loss of smell

I watch her decorate the studio

printing letters in different type fonts

rearranging them to spell something else

she paints white hearts on the pink walls

She tunes the radio and TV

puts headphones on and tidies the room

listens to the computer broadcast

types something quickly makes another film

As the music fills the studio

she gets up again and starts to dance

7112020

Song #199

 

WAITING FOR MY BABY

could it ever happen again

I didn't really plan it this way

I know you said no more last time

and the time before

sitting on the back step

waiting for my baby to come

I call you my baby

but you don't even know that I'm here

It's been the longest time

I never thought that it would happen

could it ever happen again

I didn't really plan it this way

I know you said no more last time

and the time before

but I know you're there baby

I couldn't get by without you

24102020

Football in the park ...

 

WITH THE KIDS

I just wanna play football with the kids

from dawn to dark the kids play football in the snow

but I'm too old I feel the cold

I just wanna play football with the kids

Subbuteo bar or blow table football I don't know

I've got me boots got me socks but I'm too old to take the knocks

I just wanna play football with the kids

I just wanna play football with the kids

from dawn to dark the kids play football in the park

but I feel as old as Noah's ark

I just wanna play football with the kids

Subbuteo bar or blow table football I don't know

I've got me boots got me socks but I'm as old as Goldilocks

I just wanna play football with the kids

10102020

 

It's my birthday and I'm re-posting this rhyming thing I penned in 2009

ANDY SEWINA

They said I’ve got to write a sestina
I said my name is Andy Sewina
Would you like a bite of my banana
How long till you get some new pyjama
Is that a felt hat or a fedora
Did you sail into the new marina

I once met a mermaid called Marina
I thought I’d tell you in this sestina
That I always wear an old fedora
She said is your name Andy Sewina
Lemontina do you wear pyjama
Oh but please please don’t drive me banana

Joey likes to eat yellow banana
When he pedalo to the marina
Everybody loves his blue pyjama
When he goes siesta with sestina
He dreams that he is Andy Sewina
Wearing a big coat and a fedora

You really can’t ignore a fedora
Even a squishy squashy banana
Won’t make you into Andy Sewina
So don’t go try to swim the marina
Who said it’s complicated sestina
It’s so easy peasey in pyjama

Do the drama school supply pyjama
I’ll bring a pair under my fedora
It’s time for us to sing my sestina
Ba ba ba bana bana banana
Ma ma ma mamma ma ma marina
Yeah lemontina Andy Sewina

Dance like fiesta Andy Sewina
Do Sucu sucu Cuba pyjama
Discotina down to the marina
Don’t forget to don your old fedora
Ba ba ba bana bana banana
Singer ringer dinger my sestina

Dreamer dreamer sestina pyjama
Andy Sewina with his fedora
Slip don’t trip banana skin marina

280109

napowrimo 2020 conclusion

napowrimo 2020 conclusion

Another napowrimo (poetry writing month) completed. This was my twelfth year of doing the thirty poems in thirty days challenge. The thing I had found in previous years was that two or three pieces would work out well and the rest would be pretty much discarded. This year, looking back over my entries I can't find one that I'm totally happy with. However, I think the point of the exercise is to produce a new piece of work each day, and as far as that goes I feel this has been a success. I will leave you with my favourite poem from the thirty published, REALLY BAD POETS (LIKE ME) which I think just about sums up the whole situation for me. Before I go, may I say congratulations to everybody who completed this years challenge.

REALLY BAD POETS
(LIKE ME)
Bad poets are really baaad
bad because we wanna be really baaad

Sad as it may seem to the educated
dreamer really baaad poets are bad
because they wanna be baaad

They repeat themselves too much
such and such rhyme all the time
internally and end line

Force the silly billy iambic pentameter
mount the syllabic count down to the ground
surround their act with half baked jokes

Baaad poets are really bad
baaad because we wanna be really bad

Stanza's verses couplets quatrains
we might as well be cleaning drains
nobody listens when we hum
or reads much beyond line one

But writing poetry can be fun
and I for one know that it keeps
me bleep bleep mad insane
a crazy simple writing game

Perhaps some baaad poets like me
only crave the irresistibility of mediocrity
that Wilde spoke about in Dorian Gray
then again maybe we wanna be bad

Sometimes we tell lots of lies
and plagiarise surprise surprise
Haiku Sudoku which one would you do
something simple cinquain please explain

Here we go again really baaad poets
like me (and I like them too) are bad
because we wanna be baaad
15042020

napowrimo 2020 #30

WHO IS THE THEY

Foolish as things may be

difficult as everything is

how I wish that my wish

about you could come true

hey that life would

be easy someday

However the weather

put paid to all that

seventy six was very very hot

but not as hot as

April twenty twenty

or so the they say

Who are the they

spouting it out

who are the they

shouting from the rooftops

who are the

great unwashed they

who are the

unbleached grey they

who are the jet black they

who are the

all shades of hades they

Foolish as things may be

difficult as everything is

how I wish that my wish

about you could come true

hey that life would

be easy someday

What say you man

give us yer dosh

check that

check back later

check

However the weather

put paid to all that

seventy six was very very hot

but not as hot as

April twenty twenty

or so the they say

Who is the they

who is the they

or so the they say

30042020

napowrimo 2020 #29 coronavirus 31

LOCKDOWN

The lunatics are running the asylum

Trumpington and Twopence

have no cents sense

The trouble is we're all locked in

locked up

Lockdown not in my town

I'd rather be locked in the pub

drinking beer

whisky

vodka lemonade

But I'm afraid

The lunatics are running the asylum

King Karloff with his brand new prince

Nicola Fish

Haggis dish

cover yer kite in public

In Singapore they're building more

hospitals for the rich and poor

'cos they're expecting a second wave

of Coronavirus on their shores

Rub-a-dub-dub three men in a pub

and how do you think they got there

through the back door

where they pulled up a chair

the doctor the vicar the undertaker

smoking cigars supping boilermakers

The trouble is we're all locked in

locked up

Lockdown your town too

and the lunatics are running the asylum

29042020