15/21

 

Napowrimo 2023/my15th year/day 21

BREAKING NEWS

Right in the midst of the thick of things

stuck in a bubble

trouble like you wouldn't believe

she shouts at the other characters on the page

they too can only communicate

through speech bubbles

and she calls out to anyone

who will listen to her

Callouts shouts think bubbles

thought bubbles sometimes too

you'd have to be mad clever

to imagine them as being normal

Ordinary they are not and the faint hearted

fall by the wayside

the comic strip takes a particular skill set

the comic book another

Any publication is a compilation of minds

and mindsets can differ from day to day

from place to place

and from one funny to another

never mind the editor the owner the workers

and the sleeping partner

You can paint the page in pastel shades

but if the content doesn't stack up

the dollars will turn to cents and roll away

like money down the drain

Superman and Batman and Robin

icons of the front cover are back in the news

Spiderman too but Catwoman The Joker

and other also rans

are relegated to the inside back page

Like the day job it's here today and gone tomorrow

zero hours contract minimum wage

and no amount of rhetoric will change that

you like me are in the pocket

of the powers that be

breaking news smashing

21042023

15/20

 

Napowrimo 2023/my15th year/day 20

THE DECORATION WAS DIFFERENT

Nothing much has changed but why would it

why indeed should it have

different people come and go

although if they come here they often stay

until they die

We had to take him out in a wooden overcoat

is the accepted response

when asking about an old friend

The decoration was different

but not noticeably apart from the fact that

the ceiling had been painted bright orange

although the manager reliably informed me that

it was actually a subtle shade of tangerine

The bar looked much the same as it always did

although I could tell that it had been refurbished

recently to accommodate several new fangled

beer pumps that were now sitting in pride of place

The decoration was different

but not noticeably

apart from the gigantic TV screens

hanging off each and every wall showing

different sports all night and day

I don't even know why that united pretender

is even playing for England

one of the screen watchers screamed

although no one else really noticed

He might have scored a cracking goal

against that Roy of the Rovers team

a couple of years ago in the mickey mouse cup

but he hasn't done a lot since

and certainly not at this level of football

the irate TV watcher continued

looking away from the big screen in disbelief

How many goals has he gifted the opposition with

over the years and why the Eccles cakes

does this manager stick with him

and pick him for the team every time

moan moan moan mister moaner moaned

The decoration was different

but not noticeably to the casual observer

the ash trays had gone off the tables and

had been replaced by an outdoor smoking hovel

choke yourself to death why don't you

I gave up seventeen years ago

the best move I ever made

as for the beer I can take it or leave it

each to his own poison though and may

whatever turns you on make you happy

The decoration was different

but not noticeably 

until I got talking to an octogenarian

he was sipping green tea

and self medicating with cannabis oil

good snuff I quipped trying to make a joke

try some of this united he said to me

it's got antioxidants in it

I think I'll stick to the beer I replied

The decoration was different

but not noticeably

apart from the cocktail bar

and the uniformed bar staff

they were all dressed in tartan waistcoats

white shirts and black Dickie Bow ties

I asked for a whisky and they gave me a menu

we have one hundred and sixty eight

different whiskies they told me

as I perused the stock list

do you not have Irish Whiskey I asked

Oh yes sir of course we do sir three bags full sir

they're on a different menu with the American

Japanese and Canadian Whiskeys sir

Phew this was hard work I only came in for

a quick pint of bitter and a whisky chaser

and here I was with my reading binoculars on

trying to decipher the small print on this daft list

I finally chose a single malt

and then made the mistake of asking for a double

sorry sir said the barman we don't do doubles

you can have a large one if you like

what's the difference I asked tentatively

about seventeen and a half pence he replied

what's that in old money I enquired

hoping to catch the youngster out

three and six sir he retorted without hesitation

okay I said give me two singles

and quickly added in the same glass please

The bottom line is

nothing was different apart from the decoration

20042023

15/19

Napowrimo 2023/my15th year/day 19

ALL THE RAGE

Even when the early bird wakes us up

we don't know what time it is until the clock strikes

Guilty of going somewhere

without really knowing where

why do people think that mistakes

only happen to someone else

The bigger the plan

the further the plot fails

rhythm and rhyme don't cut it

but if you don't know now you never will

From time to time someone will come along

you'll think that you can't resist her

however she's just the cash cow cutting in

she wants your dough all your bread and honey

money isn't everything it's less than half the truth

there's more to life than buying the next best thing

window shopping used to be fashionable

charity shops and bargain stores are all the rage now

We don't know what time it is until the clock strikes

even when the early bird wakes us up

19042023

15/18

 

Napowrimo 2023/my15th year/day 18

SHADES OF BLUE

Like it's the language of love

she talks about being Italian

She raves about vintage stores

and mid century furniture

paints her chipboard kitchen floor

in different shades of blue

Hangs all the utensils up

so the animals can't spoil them

dreads that the bread bin has

ever been used for anything else

Much like a vampire

she shies away from garlic

but loves a Greek style salad

soup is permanently off the menu

Loves anything Parisian

drives a Deux Chevaux

tells me she's a Francophile

but can't speak the lingo

She talks about being Italian

like it's the language of love

18042023

15/17

 

Napowrimo 2023/my15th year/day 17

IMAGINATION

Sinking further and further into the mire

deeper and deeper into the same old swamp

no one really wants to go there but a philosopher

I met told me that not only were we all born in sin

and therefore fall short of the glory of God but

that we have been sent to this earth as a punishment

for something bad that we did elsewhere

So it doesn't matter what you think if you think you

are what you think then you are what you think and

nothing is going to change that in the short or long term

but there is of course another realm that you can access

when you mix thought with imagination he told me

Laughter happiness and imagination are the three best

things in life but the greatest of these is imagination

wherever your imagination goes you can go too the

imagination in the mind of man knows no bounds it frees

us from the limitations that are otherwise pressing us down

17042023/DN

15/16

 

Napowrimo 2023/my15th year/day 16

YOU CAN'T BEAT EGGS

Natural as a plastic doll she paints the barn

slaps on the lippy and heads for the hotel bar

nobody actually said she was a basket case

but they were certainly thinking it all right

She wasn't going to set the world alight

but if she stands too close to the fire in

that colourful cellulose dress she might well do

herself a nasty injury and shock the customers too

At the bar she orders vegan everything and sulks

when she's told that eggnog isn't even vegetarian

I thought eggs were vegan she tells the barman

only if they come from corn fed chickens he replies

There's a yoke in there somewhere but finding it

that's another conundrum you can't beat eggs can you

as my younger brother always used to say at Easter

a bit like having your cake and eating it I suppose

16042023

15/15

 

Napowrimo 2023/my15th year/day 15

TOWERS OF ECSTASY

Headless chickens running around

chasing non existent tails

but the story doesn't end there

doesn't even start on the farmyard

How naïve it would be to believe

that chickens don't have heads and tails

and that perhaps ducks don't quack

and puppy dogs and kittens don't count

Bin dogs and alley cats we've spoke about

them before but they keep on hitting back

like the mess that graffiti makes everywhere

and all those sewer rats that bite down there

Manchester is building towers of ecstasy

there's more than four quarters in gay Paris

and many more green spaces in London

than people give that city credit for

15042023

15/14

 

Napowrimo 2023/my15th year/day 14

TOP DOG
The dog that usually comes to stay

belongs to the owner of the cat

top that top cat, top dog too

But the new dog that came yesterday

looks like a Cavapoo or a Shih Tzu

he's actually a King Charles Spaniel

Kris will be the one to look after him

feed and water him pamper him

walk him in the forest twice a day

Chodź tu mała, Kris beckons to the dog

WoW! Does he understand Polish? I ask

Yes replies Kris and Latvian too

14042023

15/13

 

Napowrimo 2023/my15th year/day 13

DREAMING ABOUT

What goes on

between the sheets

Whispering sweet nothings

in her ear

Somersaults and

press ups if you can

Dreaming about

the South coast of France

Eating biscuits

like there's no tomorrow

Sucking on sweets

till the cows come home

Watching movies

Korean or not

Dreaming about

that lottery win

As boring as

thinking of England

Somersaults and

press ups if you can

Whispering sweet nothings

in her ear

What goes on

between the sheets

stays between the sheets

13042023

15/12

 

Napowrimo 2023/my15th year/day 12

PERISH THE THOUGHT

Brown or white sugar one lump or two

Coffee with or without cream

Like it never happened

He swept the thought of her under the lino

Trampling it down until it was perfectly flat

See he told himself there's no such person

Never has been never will be

If only life was that simple

Perish the thought

Pull the other one

He's finally going to the party as himself

No fake make up

Syrup of figs

Irish jigs

Coffee with or without cream

Brown or white sugar one lump or two

12042023

15/11

 

Napowrimo 2023/my15th year/day 11

The prompt for today at napowrimo.net -

This prompt challenges you to play around with the idea of overheard language. Now, write a poem that takes as its starting point something overheard that made you laugh, or something someone told you once that struck you as funny.

MY WIFE

Iambic pentameter she's not

You won't find a rhyming couplet under her bonnet

My wife lost ten pounds and she stayed there

Searching everywhere until the lights went out

Waiting at the till for her change perhaps

Went on a diet and lost a bit of weight maybe

How could she whatever was she thinking of

I wouldn't hang around there for too long big bird

After dark the ATM goes into robotic mode

Do you want to tell her or should I

I think she looks wonderful just the way she is

Who told you that she's clean out of money

She was beautiful before she lost all that weight

It's obvious the way she's scratching in her purse

You won't find a rhyming couplet under her bonnet

Iambic pentameter she's not

11042023

15/10

Napowrimo 2023/my15th year/day 10

Phew, we're a third of the way through this years Napowrimo already...

THE MONTON LIGHTHOUSE

Somewhere up the Bridgewater across the Ship Canal

Looking for an alehouse as good as our local

Sailing fore and aft on a pallet raft tossing to and fro

Tugged behind a coal barge if you really need to know

Opposite the Monton lighthouse we call in for some beer

Pints of Cider and pints of Bitter we drank it in good cheer

Somewhere up the Bridgewater across the Ship Canal

Looking for an alehouse as good as our local

We're playing table skittles inside this rub a dub dub

It's not the place we're searching for but it's a decent pub

We love it on the waterside we've cruised up here from Sale

We're moored up for the night now so we'll sup a gallon of ale

Sailing fore and aft on a pallet raft tossing to and fro

Looking for an alehouse as good as our local

Tugged behind a coal barge if you really need to know

Somewhere up the Bridgewater across the Ship Canal

Over Barton swing bridge into uncharted waters

The Vikings saw us coming 'cos they locked up their daughters

But they weren't too proud to take our dosh and furnish us with wine

Then showed us to the tow path soon after closing time

Sailing fore and aft on a pallet raft tossing to and fro

Tugged behind a coal barge if you really need to know

Looking for an alehouse as good as our local

Somewhere up the Bridgewater across the Ship Canal

10042023

15/9

 

Napowrimo 2023/my15th year/day 9

BREKKY AT AMIR'S

More eggs than in a chicken hatchery

Thick buttered toast coming out of your ears

Crispy bacon assault and battery

Delicious food all kinds of flattery

Sizzling sausages hash browns and tears

More eggs than in a chicken hatchery

Pork sausages straight from the butchery

The all day breakfast without any fears

Crispy bacon assault and battery

Fresh white bread rolls straight from the bakery

Green deep fried tomatoes over the years

More eggs than in a chicken hatchery

Freshly cooked not made in a factory

All the best brekky is here at Amir's

Crispy bacon assault and battery

Reserve a seat up in the gallery

Shampoo or Bucks Fizz at six am cheers

More eggs than in a chicken hatchery

Crispy bacon assault and battery

09042023

15/8

 

Napowrimo 2023/my15th year/day 8

Continuing with Shakespeare's sonnets as my theme, I have used the end line rhymes from his sonnet 8 today, and incorporated them into my version of the 'little song'. Interestingly, I believe that along with sonnet 128, number 8 is the only other one in which he mentions music.

DON'T SAY YOU WONT

I'll listen but be happy to hear none

A song from deep within the heart of one

Then one day you upped and left me sadly

The times we had together were such joy

Come home I will welcome you back gladly

Don't say you won't that will only annoy

For there can be no music without sounds

Listen for my voice in your inner ear

Your direction amazes and confounds

You complicate my life too much to bear

Perhaps you have found yourself another

Love, to replace me and my ordering

Of you about, like a second mother

If so I think it's time for you to sing

A song from deep within the heart of one

I'll listen but be happy to hear none

08042023/SH8

15/7

 

Napowrimo 2023/my15th year/day 7

Today's prompt was to write a sonnet, the following is my version of a 'little song', I used the end line rhymes from Shakespeare's sonnet 128 and added a little something of my own. The brief was to write something about music, specifically Hip Hop, (hence the Chip Shop reference) and to get inspired by the object of headphones.

CHIP SHOP CURRY

She offers him her cans for just one kiss

The dancing carries on in spite of this

He shouts out louder and the music plays

Dreamlike you ain't never heard those sweet sounds

He starts rapping and everybody sways

You think that's sweet but it only confounds

All over the stage like a frog he leaps

Giving it rice with microphone in hand

Telling the crew that they've sown what they reap

The music louder than the big band stand

How did she ever get into this state

Chip shop curry mushy peas fish and chips

She loves the locomotion of his gait

Panting she puckers up her sweet sweet lips

The dancing carries on in spite of this

She offers him her cans for just one kiss

07042023/SH128

15/6

 

Napowrimo 2023/my15th year/day 6

THE ERROR OF YOUR WAYS

Watching TV until the drivel

comes out of your ears

hurts your eyes

and ruins your social life

When was the last time

you went somewhere

you've not been before

or simply got out of the house

How many air miles have you

accumulated recently and what

have you done to offset the carbon

footprint of the error of your ways

Have you actually succumbed

to the temptation of flying

But how else do you get to

wherever your desire leads you

Ship ferry motor boat yacht or dingy

train tram bus car motorbike tricycle

scooter moped taxi electric vehicle

donkey horse ass run roll jog or walk

Cycle skate board roller skate drift

wind surf air balloon buggy bogey

surf board paddle board canoe raft

or rowing boat kayak swim or float

06042023

15/5

 

Napowrimo 2023/my15th year/day 5

CASTLES OF THE IMAGINATION

Pack your saddle bags get off your ass and get gone

far flung is better than staying at home or so they say

This house isn't really any better or that much worse

than the last place that they lived in is it 'eck as like

cause more expensive doesn't mean better or bigger

if you reside in that there London north or south

Castles of the imagination spring up and float through

the air like inflatable boats and enter into your dreams

via the back alleyway sometimes the front door too

who can tell what dreams can do to your self esteem

Travel can also be like that stuck in traffic for days

on end trying to reach some desert place by camel

that everybody else feels compelled to go to too

two or three times a day or maybe four perhaps

If the roads are super busy and public transportation

is on strike or unavailable to the the general public

for some legitimate or obnoxious reason or other

what the ooh flung doo are they actually meant to do

Far flung is better than staying at home or so they say

so pack your saddle bags get on your ass and get gone

05042023

15/4

 

Napowrimo 2023/my15th year/day 4

STUPENDOUSLY

STUPID

Spoken speech sparks

speaks somehow

spends

Somewhere someone

should start suggesting

something soothing

sultanas?

So start saving

silver serving spoons

soon

Stop selling southern style

spongy spinach spuds

salmon steaks

shellfish sauces

square shaped sausages

squid salami spam

salad

Stiff satellite stuff

sea salt silly soda

stupendously stupid

sugared spaghetti

salsa

04042023

15/3

 Napowrimo 2023/my15th year/day 3

CONSTANT BATTERING

The Quack informs me before he starts

five percent of all operations go wrong

The sound of electric drilling

should wake me but doesn't

eclectic electric motors whirring

and jack hammers buzzing at random

Satanic thumping pummelling

and bruising me to angelic buglery

devilish sounds come from somewhere

deep deep down inside my head

Fallen angels bugles and their trombones

sounding like a scratched twelve inch vinyl

my skull cracking open like an egg from the

constant battering of their instruments

More knives than a butchers abattoir

cutting and slicing my skin to smithereens

negative as an unbeliever is empty and

having no faith or hope in the surgery on offer

Five percent of all operations go wrong

the Quack reminds me before he starts

03042023

15/2

Napowrimo 2023/my15th year/day 2

WOMB MUSIC

She clamps the headphones over her ears

and the tears roll down her made up face

it always amazes me that you don't tune in

to the soothing sounds from before your birth

The discarded forgotten information turns rotten

how meditative and/or contemplative is that

it always amazes me that you don't tune in

to the womb music that the baby hears

Traumatic dramatic as first night nerves

the trembling therapist informs the patient

it always amazes me that you don't tune in

and sing along when the big bird sings

She clamps the headphones over her ears

and the tears roll down her made up face

it always amazes me that you don't tune in

to the soothing sounds from before your birth

02042023 

15/1

 

Napowrimo 2023/my15th year/day 1

TIME AND SPACE

The clock springs forward

into a new time and space

plucking daffodils

01042023

15/Intro

 

Introduction

This is my fifteenth year of taking the napowrimo/globalwrimo challenge of writing thirty poems in thirty days and publishing them on my Straight talking street talking sweet... bloggage.

So what will I write this year? Well right now, I have no clue, and very little idea of how I want to proceed. This of course could be a good thing, for some people, but having a little scaffolding to hold the structure up may well be a better plan.

I'm thinking that, perhaps I could add some pieces to my Plymouth collection which I actually started during napowrimo 2018, or maybe not. Anyway, they're for me to write and for you to read, although, I actually stopped soliciting comments on my blog several years ago.

LOVE PLYMOUTH

Pity the buses don't come on time

such a shame to have to wait and wait

and then to walk in the wind and rain

but I bet that you won't complain

Love Plymouth hate the hills

mad as Marsh Mills if that's a thing

maybe it is perhaps it ain't but

it has a good ring to it don't you think

31032023

Christmas 1960

 

JOYFUL ECSTASY

Above the Barber's shop in Timperley

From the cold attic window in my bedge

I saw the real Santa on his sledge

high up above the rooftops and the hedge

nineteen sixty Christmas Eve I believe

the only day it snowed in the village

I fell in disbelief from my bunk bed

onto the wooden floor and hit my head

I went downstairs to check the Christmas tree

to see if Santa left something for me

One thing I didn't get was the train set

but joyful ecstasy the pedal car

that I longed for to race around the yard

Santa Claus must have read the note I wrote

From the cold attic window in my bedge

Above the Barber's shop in Timperley

06012023

Christmas 2022

 

CHRISTMAS DAY

Born in Bethlehem

It's Christmas day

let's celebrate His birth

He is the bread of life

and he that comes to him

shall never hunger never thirst

Oh Lord please I plead

Keep me as the apple of your eye

make me the man that's after your own heart

Oh Lord please I plead

Keep me as the apple of your eye

make me the man that's after your own heart

Hide me Lord

I don't want to be seen

by those who seek to devour me

Hide me

under the shadow

under the shadow of your wings

Hide me

from my deadly enemies

that seek to hunt me down

Hide me

under the shadow

under the shadow of your wings

Oh Lord please I plead

Keep me as the apple of your eye

make me the man after your own heart

Oh Lord please I plead

Keep me as the apple of your eye

make me the man after your own heart

Hide me

under the shadow

under the shadow of thy wings

He saves them that put their trust in Him

He who created all things

in heaven and on earth

Hide me

under the shadow

under the shadow of thy wings

He is the bread of life

and he that comes to him

shall never hunger never thirst

Born in Bethlehem

It's Christmas day

let's celebrate His birth

25122022

Glass bottles...

 

Andy's 150 word daily nonsense challenge

(What will you write?)

Here's mine:

MENTAL NOTES

Big plans mental notes for all those unfulfilled plans we all have them deep down there somewhere at the back of our minds where we want to do so many things in such a short space of time we really intend to do these things but rarely do do we I've got big plans to build a glass bottle wall and have already collected six one ton builders sand delivery sacks full of the fluming things it nearly killed me drinking all that beer cider red wine and bottles of spirits not to mention the Champagne Cava and Prosecco that I'm not all that partial to but I do like the shape of their bottles and can see them sitting sweet in my wall the other thing I'm planning apart from laying the concrete foundations is building a cutting apparatus to make and shape bottle bricks mental notes big plans

01122022/150