15/11

 

Napowrimo 2023/my15th year/day 11

The prompt for today at napowrimo.net -

This prompt challenges you to play around with the idea of overheard language. Now, write a poem that takes as its starting point something overheard that made you laugh, or something someone told you once that struck you as funny.

MY WIFE

Iambic pentameter she's not

You won't find a rhyming couplet under her bonnet

My wife lost ten pounds and she stayed there

Searching everywhere until the lights went out

Waiting at the till for her change perhaps

Went on a diet and lost a bit of weight maybe

How could she whatever was she thinking of

I wouldn't hang around there for too long big bird

After dark the ATM goes into robotic mode

Do you want to tell her or should I

I think she looks wonderful just the way she is

Who told you that she's clean out of money

She was beautiful before she lost all that weight

It's obvious the way she's scratching in her purse

You won't find a rhyming couplet under her bonnet

Iambic pentameter she's not

11042023

15/10

Napowrimo 2023/my15th year/day 10

Phew, we're a third of the way through this years Napowrimo already...

THE MONTON LIGHTHOUSE

Somewhere up the Bridgewater across the Ship Canal

Looking for an alehouse as good as our local

Sailing fore and aft on a pallet raft tossing to and fro

Tugged behind a coal barge if you really need to know

Opposite the Monton lighthouse we call in for some beer

Pints of Cider and pints of Bitter we drank it in good cheer

Somewhere up the Bridgewater across the Ship Canal

Looking for an alehouse as good as our local

We're playing table skittles inside this rub a dub dub

It's not the place we're searching for but it's a decent pub

We love it on the waterside we've cruised up here from Sale

We're moored up for the night now so we'll sup a gallon of ale

Sailing fore and aft on a pallet raft tossing to and fro

Looking for an alehouse as good as our local

Tugged behind a coal barge if you really need to know

Somewhere up the Bridgewater across the Ship Canal

Over Barton swing bridge into uncharted waters

The Vikings saw us coming 'cos they locked up their daughters

But they weren't too proud to take our dosh and furnish us with wine

Then showed us to the tow path soon after closing time

Sailing fore and aft on a pallet raft tossing to and fro

Tugged behind a coal barge if you really need to know

Looking for an alehouse as good as our local

Somewhere up the Bridgewater across the Ship Canal

10042023

15/9

 

Napowrimo 2023/my15th year/day 9

BREKKY AT AMIR'S

More eggs than in a chicken hatchery

Thick buttered toast coming out of your ears

Crispy bacon assault and battery

Delicious food all kinds of flattery

Sizzling sausages hash browns and tears

More eggs than in a chicken hatchery

Pork sausages straight from the butchery

The all day breakfast without any fears

Crispy bacon assault and battery

Fresh white bread rolls straight from the bakery

Green deep fried tomatoes over the years

More eggs than in a chicken hatchery

Freshly cooked not made in a factory

All the best brekky is here at Amir's

Crispy bacon assault and battery

Reserve a seat up in the gallery

Shampoo or Bucks Fizz at six am cheers

More eggs than in a chicken hatchery

Crispy bacon assault and battery

09042023

15/8

 

Napowrimo 2023/my15th year/day 8

Continuing with Shakespeare's sonnets as my theme, I have used the end line rhymes from his sonnet 8 today, and incorporated them into my version of the 'little song'. Interestingly, I believe that along with sonnet 128, number 8 is the only other one in which he mentions music.

DON'T SAY YOU WONT

I'll listen but be happy to hear none

A song from deep within the heart of one

Then one day you upped and left me sadly

The times we had together were such joy

Come home I will welcome you back gladly

Don't say you won't that will only annoy

For there can be no music without sounds

Listen for my voice in your inner ear

Your direction amazes and confounds

You complicate my life too much to bear

Perhaps you have found yourself another

Love, to replace me and my ordering

Of you about, like a second mother

If so I think it's time for you to sing

A song from deep within the heart of one

I'll listen but be happy to hear none

08042023/SH8

15/7

 

Napowrimo 2023/my15th year/day 7

Today's prompt was to write a sonnet, the following is my version of a 'little song', I used the end line rhymes from Shakespeare's sonnet 128 and added a little something of my own. The brief was to write something about music, specifically Hip Hop, (hence the Chip Shop reference) and to get inspired by the object of headphones.

CHIP SHOP CURRY

She offers him her cans for just one kiss

The dancing carries on in spite of this

He shouts out louder and the music plays

Dreamlike you ain't never heard those sweet sounds

He starts rapping and everybody sways

You think that's sweet but it only confounds

All over the stage like a frog he leaps

Giving it rice with microphone in hand

Telling the crew that they've sown what they reap

The music louder than the big band stand

How did she ever get into this state

Chip shop curry mushy peas fish and chips

She loves the locomotion of his gait

Panting she puckers up her sweet sweet lips

The dancing carries on in spite of this

She offers him her cans for just one kiss

07042023/SH128

15/6

 

Napowrimo 2023/my15th year/day 6

THE ERROR OF YOUR WAYS

Watching TV until the drivel

comes out of your ears

hurts your eyes

and ruins your social life

When was the last time

you went somewhere

you've not been before

or simply got out of the house

How many air miles have you

accumulated recently and what

have you done to offset the carbon

footprint of the error of your ways

Have you actually succumbed

to the temptation of flying

But how else do you get to

wherever your desire leads you

Ship ferry motor boat yacht or dingy

train tram bus car motorbike tricycle

scooter moped taxi electric vehicle

donkey horse ass run roll jog or walk

Cycle skate board roller skate drift

wind surf air balloon buggy bogey

surf board paddle board canoe raft

or rowing boat kayak swim or float

06042023

15/5

 

Napowrimo 2023/my15th year/day 5

CASTLES OF THE IMAGINATION

Pack your saddle bags get off your ass and get gone

far flung is better than staying at home or so they say

This house isn't really any better or that much worse

than the last place that they lived in is it 'eck as like

cause more expensive doesn't mean better or bigger

if you reside in that there London north or south

Castles of the imagination spring up and float through

the air like inflatable boats and enter into your dreams

via the back alleyway sometimes the front door too

who can tell what dreams can do to your self esteem

Travel can also be like that stuck in traffic for days

on end trying to reach some desert place by camel

that everybody else feels compelled to go to too

two or three times a day or maybe four perhaps

If the roads are super busy and public transportation

is on strike or unavailable to the the general public

for some legitimate or obnoxious reason or other

what the ooh flung doo are they actually meant to do

Far flung is better than staying at home or so they say

so pack your saddle bags get on your ass and get gone

05042023

15/4

 

Napowrimo 2023/my15th year/day 4

STUPENDOUSLY

STUPID

Spoken speech sparks

speaks somehow

spends

Somewhere someone

should start suggesting

something soothing

sultanas?

So start saving

silver serving spoons

soon

Stop selling southern style

spongy spinach spuds

salmon steaks

shellfish sauces

square shaped sausages

squid salami spam

salad

Stiff satellite stuff

sea salt silly soda

stupendously stupid

sugared spaghetti

salsa

04042023

15/3

 Napowrimo 2023/my15th year/day 3

CONSTANT BATTERING

The Quack informs me before he starts

five percent of all operations go wrong

The sound of electric drilling

should wake me but doesn't

eclectic electric motors whirring

and jack hammers buzzing at random

Satanic thumping pummelling

and bruising me to angelic buglery

devilish sounds come from somewhere

deep deep down inside my head

Fallen angels bugles and their trombones

sounding like a scratched twelve inch vinyl

my skull cracking open like an egg from the

constant battering of their instruments

More knives than a butchers abattoir

cutting and slicing my skin to smithereens

negative as an unbeliever is empty and

having no faith or hope in the surgery on offer

Five percent of all operations go wrong

the Quack reminds me before he starts

03042023

15/2

Napowrimo 2023/my15th year/day 2

WOMB MUSIC

She clamps the headphones over her ears

and the tears roll down her made up face

it always amazes me that you don't tune in

to the soothing sounds from before your birth

The discarded forgotten information turns rotten

how meditative and/or contemplative is that

it always amazes me that you don't tune in

to the womb music that the baby hears

Traumatic dramatic as first night nerves

the trembling therapist informs the patient

it always amazes me that you don't tune in

and sing along when the big bird sings

She clamps the headphones over her ears

and the tears roll down her made up face

it always amazes me that you don't tune in

to the soothing sounds from before your birth

02042023 

15/1

 

Napowrimo 2023/my15th year/day 1

TIME AND SPACE

The clock springs forward

into a new time and space

plucking daffodils

01042023

15/Intro

 

Introduction

This is my fifteenth year of taking the napowrimo/globalwrimo challenge of writing thirty poems in thirty days and publishing them on my Straight talking street talking sweet... bloggage.

So what will I write this year? Well right now, I have no clue, and very little idea of how I want to proceed. This of course could be a good thing, for some people, but having a little scaffolding to hold the structure up may well be a better plan.

I'm thinking that, perhaps I could add some pieces to my Plymouth collection which I actually started during napowrimo 2018, or maybe not. Anyway, they're for me to write and for you to read, although, I actually stopped soliciting comments on my blog several years ago.

LOVE PLYMOUTH

Pity the buses don't come on time

such a shame to have to wait and wait

and then to walk in the wind and rain

but I bet that you won't complain

Love Plymouth hate the hills

mad as Marsh Mills if that's a thing

maybe it is perhaps it ain't but

it has a good ring to it don't you think

31032023

Christmas 1960

 

JOYFUL ECSTASY

Above the Barber's shop in Timperley

From the cold attic window in my bedge

I saw the real Santa on his sledge

high up above the rooftops and the hedge

nineteen sixty Christmas Eve I believe

the only day it snowed in the village

I fell in disbelief from my bunk bed

onto the wooden floor and hit my head

I went downstairs to check the Christmas tree

to see if Santa left something for me

One thing I didn't get was the train set

but joyful ecstasy the pedal car

that I longed for to race around the yard

Santa Claus must have read the note I wrote

From the cold attic window in my bedge

Above the Barber's shop in Timperley

06012023

Christmas 2022

 

CHRISTMAS DAY

Born in Bethlehem

It's Christmas day

let's celebrate His birth

He is the bread of life

and he that comes to him

shall never hunger never thirst

Oh Lord please I plead

Keep me as the apple of your eye

make me the man that's after your own heart

Oh Lord please I plead

Keep me as the apple of your eye

make me the man that's after your own heart

Hide me Lord

I don't want to be seen

by those who seek to devour me

Hide me

under the shadow

under the shadow of your wings

Hide me

from my deadly enemies

that seek to hunt me down

Hide me

under the shadow

under the shadow of your wings

Oh Lord please I plead

Keep me as the apple of your eye

make me the man after your own heart

Oh Lord please I plead

Keep me as the apple of your eye

make me the man after your own heart

Hide me

under the shadow

under the shadow of thy wings

He saves them that put their trust in Him

He who created all things

in heaven and on earth

Hide me

under the shadow

under the shadow of thy wings

He is the bread of life

and he that comes to him

shall never hunger never thirst

Born in Bethlehem

It's Christmas day

let's celebrate His birth

25122022

Glass bottles...

 

Andy's 150 word daily nonsense challenge

(What will you write?)

Here's mine:

MENTAL NOTES

Big plans mental notes for all those unfulfilled plans we all have them deep down there somewhere at the back of our minds where we want to do so many things in such a short space of time we really intend to do these things but rarely do do we I've got big plans to build a glass bottle wall and have already collected six one ton builders sand delivery sacks full of the fluming things it nearly killed me drinking all that beer cider red wine and bottles of spirits not to mention the Champagne Cava and Prosecco that I'm not all that partial to but I do like the shape of their bottles and can see them sitting sweet in my wall the other thing I'm planning apart from laying the concrete foundations is building a cutting apparatus to make and shape bottle bricks mental notes big plans

01122022/150

UK National Poetry Day 2022

 

For National Poetry Day 2022

Here's one about the poetry environment, as I saw it when I wrote it.

It is currently sitting in first place in

'My Top Ten Most Popular Posts in The Last 7 Days'

on my Sweet Talking Guy bloggage at

sewina.blogspot.com

ORGANIC

POETRY

Organic poetry sounds good to me!

Rhymes but it doesn’t have to don’t you know?

Ghazal, I only tried it once to see...

Acrostic? No not me, I’m much too slow.

Narrative not necessarily free.

Iambic pentameter starts to crow,

Cinquain has two four six eight two to show.

Poetry is much too complicated.

Ode in olden days, she’s set in her ways!

Elegy is no allergy dated,

Tanka haiku, thank you, which way you say?

Renga, Jenga, they all fall down, hated.

Yazoo and Gibbo and all the gang, hey!

100109

When the sun shines...

 

Andy's 150 word daily nonsense challenge

(What will you write?)

Here's mine:

HIS SOLAR ENERGY

Closing my eyes I try to think of ways to heat the house for free there's a powerful sun up there maybe he will lend me some of his solar energy so here goes I cut into the water supply pipe to the kitchen sink and plumb it to an old central heating radiator which I fix to the outside wall of the house I then plumb another piece of pipe back from the radiator to the tap the idea being that the sun heats up the water in the radiator so I can do the washing up for free at the kitchen sink it works when the sun shines directly however I need to think of something smarter I join some copper pipes together attach them to a piece of plywood I plumb the contraption the same way as the radiator it works better but still not hot enough

03092022/150

Another Shirley song...

 

SHIRLEY FAREWELL

Goodbye Shirley it's late at night

Shirley goodbye and goodnight

You don't love me no more

You never call up to say hi

Shirley goodbye and goodnight

Please don't lay down the law

Or tell me a sweet little lie

Shirley farewell and goodbye

You must hate me for sure

I don't really know why

But goodbye Shirley goodbye

Why don't you love me me-oh-my

You make me really want to cry

Shirley goodnight and goodbye

Goodbye Shirley it's late at night

Shirley goodbye and goodnight

You don't love me no more

You never call up to say hi

Shirley goodbye and goodnight

Please don't lay down the law

Or tell me a sweet little lie

Shirley farewell and goodbye

You must hate me for sure

I don't really really know why

But goodbye Shirley goodbye

Why don't you love me me-oh-my

You make me really want to cry

Shirley goodnight and goodbye

23072022

New Stuff V

 

Andy's 150 word daily nonsense challenge

(What will you write?)

Here's mine:

GOOSEY GANDER

Priti Patel and Rishi Sunak

they've dealt their way

to the top of the pack

Jokers Jacks Kings and Queens

and now they want to send

everybody else back

If Jesus walked across the sea of Calais he

would be treated like a refugee

bound hand and foot and put

on an air plane to Rwanda

slave trade in the twenty first century

no human rights or lawyers to fight the might

of the minds that rob you blind and tax you out of sight

it's like you've won the lottery in reverse

with the curse of a free flight to Rwanda

and there's nowhere to hide

for the great and the good that washed up with the tide

they'll round them up and call them Goosey Gander

Priti and Rishi must think that

they've got all the aces up their sleeve

in a sick card game of make believe

16062022/150

14th/Conclusion

 

Napowrimo 2022

CONCLUSION

Phew, another NaPoWriMo completed, this year was my fourteenth go at doing the thirty poems in thirty days challenge. I'm happy to say that I managed the task once again and that I was able to add several pieces to my collection of 150 word nonsense poems, some of which I offered up for the NaPoWriMo challenge others I have simply kept to be edited for my booklet whenever it is published. So congratulations to everybody who completed or even attempted this years challenge. Looking forward to next April when some of us may well do it all over again. Andy 01052022

14th/30

Napowrimo 2022

DAY #30

BLOOMING

Light shortens daily

Leaping forward the clock ticks

The suns set madly

Magically the tide comes in

Brown Sugar beach is blooming

Skies blue and cloudless

Two suns are hotter than one

Blooming daffodils

Frozen as chocolate ice cream

Even the icehouse is hot

30042022

14th/29

 

Napowrimo 2022 DAY #29

& Andy's 150 Word Daily Nonsense Challenge

THE LURGY

They think that it's all over but it's not even started yet the lurgy political football ugly as sin they want to drag you down and bury you somewhere in the deep blue yonder once they start killing they can't stop they say everybody kills somebody sometime even if it's only a fly but they don't stop there they load the Kalashnikov's up and start firing at anything that moves often their own troops undisciplined as they are it's dog eat dog out there if you can find one that's got four legs and still breathing if you can't get fresh meat to eat it's those rusty tins in the backpack and the stale bread that you wouldn't eat unless you were starving and they are nobody's talking about infected bats now but whole cities in different countries are still locked down thanks to the lurgy we thought they brought

29042022/150

14th/28

 

Napowrimo 2022 DAY #28

& Andy's 150 Word Daily Nonsense Challenge

THE WAR ON NEED

Cue camera action stop get back start again there's more celluloid on the cutting room floor than loaded up to this film we're going to go digital if we waste any more and the profits will be cut by half or even more but none of these things will matter much if we can't overcome the war on need the war on greed the war that's banging down our door if we can't afford the fuel to run the vehicles we have and the cooking and heating appliances in our homes what will we do how will we cook the food that we can ill afford how will we heat just one room in our abode how will we find work when millions are on the dole when we don't have the right skills to fulfil the needs of the major employers and what happens when those same companies fold

28042022/150

14th/27

Napowrimo 2022

DAY #27

BUBBLY AS CHAMPAGNE

UNFINISHED POEM (part three)

Cinderella's sisters turned up again today riding motorbikes

Four up on a two seater 125 and four more in the sidecar

Tricycles are a big thing in the provinces for transportation

They also have a number of cargo versions for carrying goods

I stick to riding a solo Honda fifty goes like a rocket

I've been riding it for the last four years in the Philippines top bike

I was thinking of the European writers in the Pacific

Writers and painters artists musicians and other innovators

That spent time and/or ended their days on one of the Islands out here

How long are you going to Singapore for for as long as it takes

Twenty minutes sitting on the runway waiting for the plane to go

The transfer to Manila smooth as the proverbial baby's bot

The security guards at the stores carry guns and search everyone

On the way in and on the way out they smile at me and wave me through

Security Filipino style okay Joe they say okey doke

I like my sugar fermented presented in a bottle of beer

Water of course is the essential fluid that we all need daily

Soda's so called don't do it for me Coke can't cut it inside or out

The beer Kubo opened earlier every day beer before breakfast

They picked the fresh fruit from the trees and cooked it on an open fire

Chicken beef squid and king prawns finger foods palutan for drinking beer

Reinventing the sundial handbags at six o' clock two bob a pop

They knock a tree down to make some wine and a Carolina Sofa

Once inside with the dregs to drink and an empty bottle of plonkish

At the pre-nup disco and they all turn up Cinderella's sisters

We sleep it off on the sofa that they made in the yard of the house

That Jack built and we turn around and we all fall down in unison

27042022/Bubbly as Champagne 

14th/26

 

Napowrimo 2022

DAY #26

HOSE

Hose was at the airport

to fly to Singapore

he took a brown paper bag

and

a box tied up with string

with

everything in to begin a new life

yeah

It might have been worse of course

it could have been his wife

with all her little bits squashed up

into that minute brown box

tied up with string

What did you do

to your wife Hose

what did you do

do you really think that

you got away with

the perfect crime

because

there's no such thing

you'll get caught some time

and when they catch you

they'll put you in the clink

and

they will find you Hose

When they find her body

on the Essex shore in the

City of Southend on Sea

they'll come looking for you

you see Hose like me

they know that you killed her

There won't be many

gin slings at Raffles Hotel

all that insurance money

will be reclaimed as well

Some say that you buried her

in a shallow grave

others that you buried her alive and

shovelled concrete

onto her head and

nobody heard her scream

but everybody knows that she's dead

26042022

14th/25

Napowrimo 2022

DAY #25

MAGIC FEET

Crumbs

they've got some noisy barbers

in the rubber drums

but

they look good when they step out

and

they always clean their shoes

yeah

peasants everywhere

they always clean their shoes

they ain't nobody's fool

and

they look super cool

when

I saw them dancing

down the street

they made the worldwide news

they couldn't sing

a carol or a hymn

or

anything to save their life

or

even play a tune

on

that guitar they stole

but they had magic feet

glass slippers glass shoes

like

Cinderella dancing

down the street

magic feet magic feet

glass slippers glass shoes

magic feet

25042022

14th/24

 

Napowrimo 2022

DAY #24

WACKY RACES

Guess who turned up to run the race the way they always do

Dick Dastardly Muttley Penelope Pitstop and all of the crew

We came over the hills hell for leather

heading for the city of love

mythical as El Dorado it was not to be found

Every type of transportation that could/would move

was heading the same way too and a few the other way

but too few to rattle on about here in the here and now

These roads that are so dangerous day and night alike

were and are a deathtrap for any stranger to their

unending roadworks and unpredictable paths and pitfalls

Our minivan driver weaves in and out of the traffic

like he's riding a solo motorcycle often just scraping back

between the vehicles in our lane before crashing the thing

Slot car racing it's not the relentless oncoming trucks coaches

minivans cars Jeeps and Jeepney's that refill the overtaking space

he/we had momentarily occupied Scalextric's for beginners

Dick Dastardly Muttley Penelope Pitstop and all of the crew

turned up to run the race the way they always do

24042022

14th/23

Napowrimo 2022

DAY #23

TALK ABOUT

Never mention the weather don't ever explain

Even if it's snowing there ain't no one to blame

There are some things that we don't talk about

We don't talk about the war

We don't talk party politics

Religion what a bore

There are some things we boast about

We wouldn't go to Waitrose if there's no Aldi store

We'd walk the extra mile

Cos we're cheapskates what a bore

There are some things we talk about

We talk about football (so long as City score)

We talk about the Kippax

And no one is a bore

Even if it's snowing I won't tell you again

Don't mention the weather don't complain

23042022

14th/22

 

Napowrimo 2022

DAY #22

THE FROG MOON

Blacks greys yellows blue

Colours merge shadows loom

The Frog moon and other stories

songs Looney tunes cartoon lyrics

scrawled on scraps of brown paper bags

out there up there as far as the eye can see

How far away is the moon asks the boy

Only the man on the moon knows that

I thought the moon was made of cheese

Yes blue cheese please and claret wine

Champagne the new shampoo

other worlds wheels within wheels

perfected deflected different rooms

swinging dancing on the moon

Colours merge shadows loom

Blacks greys yellows blue

22042022

14th/21

 

Napowrimo 2022 DAY #21

Nonsense from the top of my head

CHURLISH

There are words you can use and words that

would be unthinkable to use in this modern day

words like churlish that may or may not mean

rude ill-tempered and/or impolite you'd have to be

as uncultured as a boorish barbarian to even consider

the type of behaviour that is thought to represent this

tasteless uncivilised word whose origins go back to

at least Anglo Saxon times where a Churl

although a landowner and farmer was looked down upon

by all and sundry as a lowly uncouth person who didn't

know when to blab or burp I guess he was the whipping boy

between the stocks but words and cultures evolve and

here's a new way of looking at this word that you may

not have considered before you see whenever you break a word

down into it's compound parts you invariably come up with at least

a couple of new words in this case if we take churl it not only

sounds like girl but in some senses it actually becomes girl

or perhaps girlish if you expand on this theme you eventually

come to a totally new meaning for churlish

which is childish and girlish neither of these words are acceptable

in common speak today so sorry folks the word churlish

has to be erased from the English language forthwith

21042022/nonsense poem

14th/20

 

Napowrimo 2022

DAY #20

JUST FOR MONKEY

monkey like it didn't really happen

monkey like it's going outta fashion

monkey making monkey just for monkey

monkey she's making monkey looks like you

monkey she's making monkey looks like you

monkey making monkey just for monkey

monkey like it's going outta fashion

monkey like it didn't really happen

20042022