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Thursday 17 July 2008

TOP Prompt - My Ghazal (attempt).

Caroline sent me a little kiss, a school notepaper crisscross kiss.
Then she puckered up her lips like this, and blew me a whacking great kiss.

Though I know it was hardly a touch, my first time I thought it enough.
And there will be time later for stuff, whenever I date her, to kiss.

Not a crime to be loved the first time, but does she still want me to come?
I can’t tell well by her rule of thumb, if only she’d give me a kiss.

She smiled licking her sensuous lips, and came in the bedroom last night.
Behind the door I put out the light, and she gave the mirror a kiss.

Oh Caroline where did I go wrong, did I say something to offend?
I only want you to be my friend, so please don’t refuse me a kiss.


  1. Okay, here is my attempt at the Ghazal prompt. It actually ended up more like a few couplets of 'American Sentences'

  2. I smiled the whole way through the poem.
    Not laughed, silly. Smiled. I really liked it. Thanks!

  3. Thanks Karen, I really struggled doing this and everybody else makes it look so simple..

  4. This worked well. I liked it. Although I usually give up on such formula poetry. Not my thing - as you may have guessed by mine ;-)

  5. I'm with Karen. You put a big smile on my face.

  6. Thanks Anthony, I liked your rebellious poem!

    Thanks Brad, it's good to smile..

  7. Ghazals kick my butt. I like yours.


  8. I really liked it and like the others it made me smile. I appreciate your attempt as I didn't get one done. It seems very good to me.

  9. I like the contradiction in the last line... nice!

  10. I like it very much. It has a lightheartedness and sense of fun around it.

  11. What fun - creating smiles is a good thing and this poem surely does. I admire your ability to write this form!

  12. Thanks Nicole, I just spent ages reading your blog.

    Hi Lisa, You're very kind.

    Thanks Lirone, I wasn't sure about the last bit..

    Thanks Liza, I'm soft centred as well as lighthearted..

    Hi Lucy, glad you're smiling!

    Hi Just Jen, I think in a subconscious sort of way I might have got the idea for this after reading your latest post.

    Tumblewords, Many thanks!

  13. I loved your poem!! I must admit that I read a few other ghazals from TOP before I attempted mine and I think that is why I was a bit disappointed in it. Your ghazal is sweet and made me smile. I think mine is just depressing :(

    Well, anyways, thank you for visiting my attempt at a ghazal Waiting for Daylight. I don't think this style is for me. It was so haaaarrrrdddd...


  14. Hi Bev, Thanks for your sweet comment.. I read Waiting for Daylight and thought it was very well written. The subject you choose was depressing by definition, however, I thought you dealt with it admirably.

  15. Hi CGP, I'm smiling too, you're my 3,300th. visitor.

  16. Must have been devasting at the time, but at least you can laugh about it now.

  17. you caught that moment so perfectly... definitely made me smile... thought you did a great on the ghazal... really was a challenge for me as well... but glad i stuck it thru... will attempt do do more as the history is so very very interesting...

  18. Thanks Stan, trouble is these things keep on happening!

    Hi OMB, some people seem to be able to rattle a ghazal off in no time at all but I think we all have a lot more to learn about this form.


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