I know you love me but if you follow me I'll love you too!

Saturday 30 April 2022


Napowrimo 2022

DAY #30


Light shortens daily

Leaping forward the clock ticks

The suns set madly

Magically the tide comes in

Brown Sugar beach is blooming

Skies blue and cloudless

Two suns are hotter than one

Blooming daffodils

Frozen as chocolate ice cream

Even the icehouse is hot


Friday 29 April 2022



Napowrimo 2022 DAY #29

& Andy's 150 Word Daily Nonsense Challenge


They think that it's all over but it's not even started yet the lurgy political football ugly as sin they want to drag you down and bury you somewhere in the deep blue yonder once they start killing they can't stop they say everybody kills somebody sometime even if it's only a fly but they don't stop there they load the Kalashnikov's up and start firing at anything that moves often their own troops undisciplined as they are it's dog eat dog out there if you can find one that's got four legs and still breathing if you can't get fresh meat to eat it's those rusty tins in the backpack and the stale bread that you wouldn't eat unless you were starving and they are nobody's talking about infected bats now but whole cities in different countries are still locked down thanks to the lurgy we thought they brought


Thursday 28 April 2022



Napowrimo 2022 DAY #28

& Andy's 150 Word Daily Nonsense Challenge


Cue camera action stop get back start again there's more celluloid on the cutting room floor than loaded up to this film we're going to go digital if we waste any more and the profits will be cut by half or even more but none of these things will matter much if we can't overcome the war on need the war on greed the war that's banging down our door if we can't afford the fuel to run the vehicles we have and the cooking and heating appliances in our homes what will we do how will we cook the food that we can ill afford how will we heat just one room in our abode how will we find work when millions are on the dole when we don't have the right skills to fulfil the needs of the major employers and what happens when those same companies fold


Wednesday 27 April 2022


Napowrimo 2022

DAY #27


UNFINISHED POEM (part three)

Cinderella's sisters turned up again today riding motorbikes

Four up on a two seater 125 and four more in the sidecar

Tricycles are a big thing in the provinces for transportation

They also have a number of cargo versions for carrying goods

I stick to riding a solo Honda fifty goes like a rocket

I've been riding it for the last four years in the Philippines top bike

I was thinking of the European writers in the Pacific

Writers and painters artists musicians and other innovators

That spent time and/or ended their days on one of the Islands out here

How long are you going to Singapore for for as long as it takes

Twenty minutes sitting on the runway waiting for the plane to go

The transfer to Manila smooth as the proverbial baby's bot

The security guards at the stores carry guns and search everyone

On the way in and on the way out they smile at me and wave me through

Security Filipino style okay Joe they say okey doke

I like my sugar fermented presented in a bottle of beer

Water of course is the essential fluid that we all need daily

Soda's so called don't do it for me Coke can't cut it inside or out

The beer Kubo opened earlier every day beer before breakfast

They picked the fresh fruit from the trees and cooked it on an open fire

Chicken beef squid and king prawns finger foods palutan for drinking beer

Reinventing the sundial handbags at six o' clock two bob a pop

They knock a tree down to make some wine and a Carolina Sofa

Once inside with the dregs to drink and an empty bottle of plonkish

At the pre-nup disco and they all turn up Cinderella's sisters

We sleep it off on the sofa that they made in the yard of the house

That Jack built and we turn around and we all fall down in unison

27042022/Bubbly as Champagne 

Tuesday 26 April 2022



Napowrimo 2022

DAY #26


Hose was at the airport

to fly to Singapore

he took a brown paper bag


a box tied up with string


everything in to begin a new life


It might have been worse of course

it could have been his wife

with all her little bits squashed up

into that minute brown box

tied up with string

What did you do

to your wife Hose

what did you do

do you really think that

you got away with

the perfect crime


there's no such thing

you'll get caught some time

and when they catch you

they'll put you in the clink


they will find you Hose

When they find her body

on the Essex shore in the

City of Southend on Sea

they'll come looking for you

you see Hose like me

they know that you killed her

There won't be many

gin slings at Raffles Hotel

all that insurance money

will be reclaimed as well

Some say that you buried her

in a shallow grave

others that you buried her alive and

shovelled concrete

onto her head and

nobody heard her scream

but everybody knows that she's dead


Monday 25 April 2022


Napowrimo 2022

DAY #25



they've got some noisy barbers

in the rubber drums


they look good when they step out


they always clean their shoes


peasants everywhere

they always clean their shoes

they ain't nobody's fool


they look super cool


I saw them dancing

down the street

they made the worldwide news

they couldn't sing

a carol or a hymn


anything to save their life


even play a tune


that guitar they stole

but they had magic feet

glass slippers glass shoes


Cinderella dancing

down the street

magic feet magic feet

glass slippers glass shoes

magic feet


Sunday 24 April 2022



Napowrimo 2022

DAY #24


Guess who turned up to run the race the way they always do

Dick Dastardly Muttley Penelope Pitstop and all of the crew

We came over the hills hell for leather

heading for the city of love

mythical as El Dorado it was not to be found

Every type of transportation that could/would move

was heading the same way too and a few the other way

but too few to rattle on about here in the here and now

These roads that are so dangerous day and night alike

were and are a deathtrap for any stranger to their

unending roadworks and unpredictable paths and pitfalls

Our minivan driver weaves in and out of the traffic

like he's riding a solo motorcycle often just scraping back

between the vehicles in our lane before crashing the thing

Slot car racing it's not the relentless oncoming trucks coaches

minivans cars Jeeps and Jeepney's that refill the overtaking space

he/we had momentarily occupied Scalextric's for beginners

Dick Dastardly Muttley Penelope Pitstop and all of the crew

turned up to run the race the way they always do


Saturday 23 April 2022


Napowrimo 2022

DAY #23


Never mention the weather don't ever explain

Even if it's snowing there ain't no one to blame

There are some things that we don't talk about

We don't talk about the war

We don't talk party politics

Religion what a bore

There are some things we boast about

We wouldn't go to Waitrose if there's no Aldi store

We'd walk the extra mile

Cos we're cheapskates what a bore

There are some things we talk about

We talk about football (so long as City score)

We talk about the Kippax

And no one is a bore

Even if it's snowing I won't tell you again

Don't mention the weather don't complain


Friday 22 April 2022



Napowrimo 2022

DAY #22


Blacks greys yellows blue

Colours merge shadows loom

The Frog moon and other stories

songs Looney tunes cartoon lyrics

scrawled on scraps of brown paper bags

out there up there as far as the eye can see

How far away is the moon asks the boy

Only the man on the moon knows that

I thought the moon was made of cheese

Yes blue cheese please and claret wine

Champagne the new shampoo

other worlds wheels within wheels

perfected deflected different rooms

swinging dancing on the moon

Colours merge shadows loom

Blacks greys yellows blue


Thursday 21 April 2022



Napowrimo 2022 DAY #21

Nonsense from the top of my head


There are words you can use and words that

would be unthinkable to use in this modern day

words like churlish that may or may not mean

rude ill-tempered and/or impolite you'd have to be

as uncultured as a boorish barbarian to even consider

the type of behaviour that is thought to represent this

tasteless uncivilised word whose origins go back to

at least Anglo Saxon times where a Churl

although a landowner and farmer was looked down upon

by all and sundry as a lowly uncouth person who didn't

know when to blab or burp I guess he was the whipping boy

between the stocks but words and cultures evolve and

here's a new way of looking at this word that you may

not have considered before you see whenever you break a word

down into it's compound parts you invariably come up with at least

a couple of new words in this case if we take churl it not only

sounds like girl but in some senses it actually becomes girl

or perhaps girlish if you expand on this theme you eventually

come to a totally new meaning for churlish

which is childish and girlish neither of these words are acceptable

in common speak today so sorry folks the word churlish

has to be erased from the English language forthwith

21042022/nonsense poem

Wednesday 20 April 2022



Napowrimo 2022

DAY #20


monkey like it didn't really happen

monkey like it's going outta fashion

monkey making monkey just for monkey

monkey she's making monkey looks like you

monkey she's making monkey looks like you

monkey making monkey just for monkey

monkey like it's going outta fashion

monkey like it didn't really happen


Tuesday 19 April 2022


Napowrimo 2022

DAY #19



Something old something new something borrowed something blue (something's gone wrong)

And the wedding cake blues goes on eat it for England eat your heart out

If you ever travel to the Pearl of the Orient you'll like this

Total recall is a bit like that too but can be really boring

You see the trouble is it drags on and pulls you back into the past

Random photograph's on an online blog site and one pops up of me

Fifty years old but everybody recognises me straight away

Sitting here in the provinces two hundred miles north of Manila

Drinking Red Horse after dark in the Kubo echo's of camping out

We go everywhere all of the time always have done always will do

Torquay Newquay Weymouth Blackpool Lytham Saint Anne's (and the North Wales coast)

Later but not much The Isle of Man Jersey Brittany St Malo

Normandy and the cider farms camping out in the apple orchards

We would jump the trains down to London from Manchester Piccadilly

To watch City play at Palace Chelsea Spurs West Ham and Arsenal

Got caught a few times but in those days you could give a dodgy address

Used to go up the Kings Road and Sloane Square never bought anything though

Jean Junction denim was king tie died tee shirts matching shirt and tie sets

The swinging sixties if you said you were there you probably were not

We were only kids but we had a freedom that kids today don't have

We could go away for days weeks and months sometimes without recompense

We hitched a lift got a ride from Stockport all the way to the big smoke

Then got a bed in the partitioned off bit of the Sally Army

It was in the transport part at Elephant and Castle stank of wazz

I bought a brand new towel and after washing at the communal sinks

I turned around and the towel was gone what a welcome to London town

You don't make the same mistake twice then it was off to hear the message

The Captain spoke about Barnardo's the shoe shines and the phossy girls

We've come a long way in a hundred years he said but much more to do

After prayers we went for the bacon and egg breakfast in the big hall

We knew all the jibs in London in those days and went to Centre Point

They gave us luncheon vouchers which we cashed in for cigarettes and Coke

At Saint Martins in the fields the vicar there gave us the train fare home

The seventies merged into the eighties and came and went so quickly

We knew everybody who was anybody and nobody cared

Almost all of the time we were too drunk to know who or where we were


Monday 18 April 2022


Napowrimo 2022 DAY #18

& Andy's 150 Word Daily Nonsense Challenge


Information is key to our understanding of the Universe not simply for now but for the secret minute that moment of inspiration of innovation without which nothing that we have could ever have possibly taken place vast sums of money are exchanged for correct information a small difference of a percentage or two can cost buyers sellers and investors hundreds of millions of dollars in seconds decisions coupled with information will become powerful when mixed in the right way we each have a need that goes deeper than drilling the ground beneath the oceans very few people alive these days know the hidden secrets and the mysterious dilemma of whether to do or don't give birth to a new invention that could change our lives forever with the express power of life over death these things you already know but soon I will reveal everything that you need to know


Sunday 17 April 2022


Wesolych Swiat, Happy Easter, Maligayang Araw ng Pagkabuhay, Frohe Ostern. 🤣

Napowrimo 2022

DAY #17


Going to the swimming pool

What times the next bus

They come when they arrive

At the swimming pool

What's the water like


Running for the bus later

(bone dry)

Have I missed the bus

Have you Buxton

they don't run this late

on Sundays



Saturday 16 April 2022



Napowrimo 2022 DAY #16

& Andy's 150 word Daily Nonsense Challenge


Devon and Cornwall up in Dartmoor or down by the sea

make your dreams come true in the Westcountry

believe the hype on Daytime TV that you can retire to a new county

of course you can and you'll love it too if you play Rugby or support Argyle

if you like a laugh it makes me smile when I watch the bile on Daytime TV

if you're not ready to sell your house and move just yet you can get a doer upper

for the price of a cuppa and flip it for a profit on Daytime TV

but don't go down the route of a second house or holiday home

it's not the done thing any more now than it ever was

it keeps the workers poor and the poor poorer than they were before

buy a Fisherman's cottage if you like he won't need it any more


Friday 15 April 2022


Napowrimo 2022

DAY #15


The sun shines like the rain pours sometimes on the just and unjust alike

The grass isn't any greener in this place because of the sunshine

Nor does the amount of rainfall affect the temperature boo hoo

They climb up the anthill at the base of the sprawling tamarind tree

Mushrooms and other white fungi grows there too scruffy dogs sniff at it

The rain stays off until late morning but the sun gets ever hotter

Oceans dry up moons fall out of orbit a new Universe appears

We sit there waiting watching powerless to interfere with such things

Some of our people have already been taken others are waiting

If it's not the Ginebra that takes so long to come it's the tonic

Party's are like that sometimes too all of the food sitting there waiting

And no one's got an inkling what time the cake is going to be cut


Thursday 14 April 2022


Napowrimo 2022

DAY #14


I shall fear no evil for He is my shepherd I shall not want

Although I walk through the valley of the shadow of death

Authentic as Shawarma Pizza

Italian as the Eiffel Tower

Insane as the Seine in denial

Putin sends thousands to certain death

Crimes against humanity crimes against war

Crimes against Christians crimes against Christ

Crimes against men women children the unborn

Crimes against his own people who are starting to suffer

As the secret crimes that only Putin knows about come out

The secrets of his blackened heart that have not been seen yet

As they begin to be unleashed like Genghis Khan

Or Hitler or some other type of Anti-Christ that we've not seen

Although I walk through the valley of the shadow of death

I shall fear no evil for He is my shepherd I shall not want


Wednesday 13 April 2022


Napowrimo 2022

DAY #13


They talk you down until you're worn out they always know better than you do of course because they've seen it all before been there done that sold more than you've even bought so do you have a business plan or don't you if not you're fired but don't worry it's not real life it's just junk TV if you've got nothing better to do or there's no football on the other side talking of sides there's hundreds of channels on the box these days which one would anyone want to watch and why maybe one without commercial breaks or perhaps one with so you can multitask multitask TV that's a new one on me but I think we all do that sometimes don't we I find that if I read a book watch TV and do the crossword at the same time I fall asleep but that's just me


Tuesday 12 April 2022



Napowrimo 2022

DAY #12


The women here are very beautiful while the men are some of the most handsome in the world the women brush everything several times a day tables chairs floors pathways driveways everywhere you look someone is brushing something or someone and tomorrow they will brush it/them all over again I just want to brush under the table Uncle they tell me and studiously they go about removing every grain of rice that I have just accidentally dropped there and the cat didn't get to fast enough what they don't realise of course is the amount of dust that they are creating no wonder I've been coughing my guts up ever since we first arrived here the dust from the constant brushing and the emissions from the traffic all add up to make a sore throat really really painful have you taken your medicine today Uncle they ask and give me a couple of pills to pop just in case I forgot to take them then they say would you like some tea or coffee Uncle water please I tell them but they always ignore me and bring coffee anyway I wait for it to go cold and then I drink it but it's oh so sweet everything over here is sweet ever so sweet even the fruit growing wild outside has a devilishly fruity sweetness to it but don't knock it there's fruit everywhere no one's going to starve this week or next and there'll be steaks for all hanging off the branches in Tiny Tree before we know it


Monday 11 April 2022



Napowrimo 2022

DAY #11


They said we're going on holiday and started packing bags

Spent all night weighing them and packing and repacking

In the morning they/we were ready and sitting outside

In the rain waiting for a taxi when it didn't come

They phoned another one from one of their devices

At the airport check-in I ask them where we are going

A far away place they tell me it's called Tahiti

Oh good I exclaim I've always wanted to go there

Really they say laughing behind cupped hands

On the aeroplane and many hours later we touch down

In Doha wonderful place fantastic airport but Tahiti it's not

Don't worry they tell me feeding me my cocktail of tablets

We are only changing planes here we just have to wait

For six hours until they've cleaned and restocked the plane

I sit in the airport lounge and do the easy Sudoku in my book

They do what they always do lippy laptops and mobile things

They tell me last night's football scores like they're important

I don't want to know the scores before I watch the highlights

Hello am I even able to do do anything any more or what

When the second aeroplane lands I'm really excited but

They tell me there's been a change of plan we can't go to Tahiti

They say because French Polynesia is closed due to the lurgy

So we've come to The Pearl of the Orient instead

Wonderful I reply maybe we can still go Island hopping as

I had really wanted to go to Hiva Oa in the Marquesas Islands

They had never heard of Paul Gauguin and Jacques Brel of course


Sunday 10 April 2022



Napowrimo 2022 DAY #10

& Andy's 150 word Daily Nonsense Challenge


The bus flies past the shops I wanna get off

I scream the driver ignores me

When the next stop comes I get off as quickly as I can

I've never been this far before avenues criss cross streets

Buildings higher than hills taller than trees

I can no longer hear the birds singing for the roar of heavy traffic

Everywhere I look there are people either in cars or on motorcycles

and bicycles or simply walking the streets seemingly aimlessly like me

Before long I become very lost in this vast new world

I never suspected that my bus would actually run to such a place as this

I had always thought that the shopping parade was at the end of the world

and that the bus just turned around and came back after my usual stop

but now my eyes have been opened to a strange new world


Saturday 9 April 2022



Napowrimo 2022 DAY #9

& Andy's 150 Word Daily Nonsense Challenge


They sell potato fries in the market ready cut up in placky bags

for you to take home and deep fry with your foot long saveloy

ketchup chilli sauce or soy and vinegar and garlic to dip

complementary fish sauce for those who can bear it

gobbledegook personified with double egg and chips

add a couple of rashers of bacon a grilled tomato and fried mushrooms

for the all day brunch wash it down with a litre or two of Red Horse

eat your heart out until pancake day or till the jokes on you

and when the mosquitoes bite you'll know about it good style

you'll scratch yourself stupid and it'll flaming hurt like buglery

when they ask if you're okay you'll say I'm fine as eggs are Eccles cakes

Salamat po but what you should have said is

am I Buxton I feel like a troglodyte on heat


Friday 8 April 2022


Napowrimo 2022 DAY #8

& Andy's 150 Word Daily Nonsense Challenge


Like fireflies they dart about

the motorbikes and tricycles

lighting up the dark

the Jeepney's of course are not running yet

after the Chinese infusion Asian flu it's not

world wide pandemic phew get a vaccine or two and a booster

when they tell you to don't step out of line and you'll be fine

but whose counting any more wear a mask to shop at the store

one each for your cats and dogs too on public transport

but kids under twelve can still go skat free

helter skelter we all fall down

sideways sometimes

but life goes on regardless

although it's good to reminisce

to say you were there on this occasion or that

it doesn't really matter if you missed it

you weren't the only one

so long as someone was there

to share and witness that great match

made in heaven where two became one flesh


Thursday 7 April 2022



Napowrimo 2022

DAY #7


She thought a tonne of concrete

was heavier than a tonne of feathers

how she worked that one out I don't know

but work it out she did and forwarded it

to the board of submissions for a grant to study

for an MA in the field of intelligence and security

at one of the Ivy League Universities

of course there wasn't really such a course available

if there had been she almost definitely

wouldn't have been accepted and as for the grant

that too was a virtual non starter however as a point

of fairness and with the backing of the anti discrimination laws

in that country she was granted an interview regardless

On arrival at the college the chancellor sent one of his quislings

out to the parking lot to make a thorough investigation of the

candidates vehicle her car was a total mess

which disqualified her immediately


Wednesday 6 April 2022


Napowrimo 2022

DAY #6


They held a stash of folding cash unseen on earth before

specks of buried untold gold riches waiting to unfold

See ya later doctor data said the odd bod to the nerd

and the three wise men brought gifts

Crystals quartz lithium gold incense and myrrh

those forgotten memories that can never be restored

Once shattered erased forever on any day of the week

but breaking glass sounds smashing at any time of year

It sounds so good and loud when an oven door explodes

they live in fear waiting for the next bomb to drop

Like the stone statues that they say they discovered

no matter how old they are those stones can't talk

The secrets of the ancient ones who buried them there

are as safe with us as a Jenga Tower or a house of cards

Specks of buried untold gold riches waiting to unfold

they held a stash of folding cash unseen on earth before


Tuesday 5 April 2022



Napowrimo 2022

DAY #5


We don't pay cash

dollars or roubles

for anything these days

everything is trade only and that means

barter to those that are in the know

you scratch my back and I'll scratch yours

if you know the lingo or even if you don't

the bottom line is I do this for you

you do that for me or we can step it up a bit and

introduce something like the Local Exchange Trading System

or the tool and car sharing programmes better still

we could start a community food exchange cooperative

and get all our supermarket needs and wants at no charge

what about dentistry and doctoring and free haircuts for all

you shave my bonce and I'll cut your thatch

pick and mix at the buckshee gobstopper stall

rooms without rent bed and breakfast at no expense

or beer and wine by the bucketful for the chosen few


Monday 4 April 2022



Napowrimo 2022

DAY #4


The spaghetti was Italian until they added the sugar

Like sweet sweet coffee and sticky soft drinks

Shaking like a wooden roller coaster

The tricycle thunders downhill and up

Stutters to a halt gives way to a Jeepney

Manila it's not but we are in the Philippines

Wonderful people and excellent food

Would you like a coffee Uncle they ask

Twenty times a day and some Pandesal

After breakfast they say It'll be dinner time soon

We go to the Carinderia to eat Mami

It's thirty five pesos and ten more for an extra egg

There's sixty eight pesos to the British pound today

I give them a hundred they deserve to keep the change

Like sweet sweet coffee and sticky soft drinks

The spaghetti was Italian until they added the sugar


Sunday 3 April 2022



Napowrimo 2022

DAY #3


Come on lady come and and have a Butchers

Hook at this little bundle of bath sheets

They didn't fall off the back of a lorry

I caught them they're bankrupt stock

They're yer genuine Egyptian cotton

Made by Japanese robots in Taiwan

Get some for the guest room or yer Airbnb

Any colour yer like they're soft as a baby's bottom

I'll chuck the towels in at two quid a throw

Five for eight ninety nine or ten for sixteen nicker

Who'll buy the first one to get me started

Any flavour come on sir do yerself a favour

If you see a Copper coming this way

You'll see me running that way

I'll tell you what I'll do if you buy one for two notes

I'll bung another one in buckshee

Okay I can see you're interested now

So who wants the first towel for less than two dabs

You'd have to go a long way to get quality gear like this

On a Sunday morning further than Timbuktu

Never mind yer designer labels

What we've got are cheap at half the price

Look in all the big stores behind me

These towels came out of the same stable

Okay I can see the hands shooting up there now

Less than a deuce for two quality bath sheets

That's all I'm asking one to the lady over there

And one to the gentleman with the umbrella

Me and my wife are in the iron and steel business

She does the ironing and I do something completely different

I'm clapping my hands it's my final price

One ninety nine a brace let me see those hands

Michael give the punters a penny change

Thank you lady thank you sir nice one squirrel

Last few now one over here Michael and one over there

And one to the little boy who lives down the lane


Saturday 2 April 2022


Napowrimo 2022

DAY #2


I'm waiting for her smile to set me free

She opens up her eyes and looks at me

Our winter dreams of skiing in the snow

In secret times and places that we found

The good time dreams that only we can know

With lots and lots of snow upon the ground

Still beautiful as ever so they say

As my heart longs to be up with the lark

We will be summer lovers in the hay

Loving in the park till after dark

Please take it any way you like alright

I have to tell it how it is for me

I only want to hold you tight tonight

You understand I know that you can see

She opens up her eyes and looks at me

I'm waiting for her smile to set me free


Friday 1 April 2022


Napowrimo 2022

DAY #1


Extraordinary things are happening

In places where you wouldn't want to sing

Most Jim's ain't gym's where you can exercise

The kinda talk they make street corner guys

The clenched fists that they pump the hands they shake

The dreams they hold the deals that they make

Please don't go rattle on up that back street

They're dancing with umbrellas for awhile

The downs and ups and outs that make you smile

I never ever thought they'd eat pigs feet

Here I am with you standing in the rain

Icicles even we don't feel the pain

So here we go quick don't quit quick quick slow

And that's not even back slang don't you know

In places where you wouldn't want to sing

Extraordinary things are happening