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Sunday, 11 April 2021

2021 #11


Napowrimo 2021



Mombasa to Marrakesh I guess

the film drones on until after midnight

into the new day and I'm at the front

of the movie theater snoring boring but

it's the third night showing this picture already

It's a long time until breakfast at Sally Jack's

ham and eggs and pancakes with maple syrup

I'll spend the day shining shoes as I always do

then I'll ride the all night buses till morning

another dollar another day done and dusted

but every cent spent on shows travel food and drink

or I would be like the great unwashed hoi palloi

busted for jaywalking under the overhead tracks

mainlining alcohol (or drugs or other substances)

Concrete poetry is not my forte cell phones graffiti

lyrics swing and all that jazz rigor mortis pour moi

jailhouse rock bail without parole at the county jail

madness personified they lock the vagrant up again

put him in a casket when they're done kicking him

can't keep a good man down they say before they shoot

pushing up daisies in the prison yard beyond the fence

basketball was never like this in the parking structure

muscle beach it's not nor is it an indoor gymnasium

they let me out for good behaviour I've done my time

early sunlight hurts my one good eye as I exit the flicks

I spend my nights captivated by cinematic dreams

infused with popcorn chilli dogs and cigarette smoke

confused by shoe polish memories of nursery school

wax crayons smelly brown cardboard boxes with lids

as the on screen bullets fly I will continue to hallucinate

about those one third pint bottles of milk with straws

memories of yesteryear encapsulated in my thoughts

of all the minds in all the world you walk into mine

Have you had your electric shock treatment yet or licked

the sugar cube with a red microdot on it did it dissolve

solve your problems immunise you from reality

make you the person everybody else wants you to be

or are you like me a borderline mastermind wage slave

minimum time shining shoes for nickels and dimes


Saturday, 10 April 2021

2021 #10


Napowrimo 2021



Nine to zero multiplication

manipulation contemplation

if you know the numbers you may

or may not be held to account

Some say that zero is the most

important number not least

the mathematicians Mesopotamians

and the morticians of this world

The Martians know a lot about zero too

as do the mickey takers mischief makers

and all in sundry to do with munitions

frightening as it might seem zero is not zilch

Ballyhoo Old Bamboo one and one and one

is three or one hundred and eleven or just one

depending on how you divi it up take a butchers hook

add some zero's and watch it change again

Compliance reliance don't complain if five plus five

is ten how many times can you multiply it and

divide it into infinity eternity conformity to carnality

and back to banality as brutal as your sudsless soap

Numbers nine to zero come in ground control

just clearing Cloud Nine now bombing it with tomato plants

and onion seeds Double O Seven is paragliding down

shovel in hand to dig the ground Pluto is the promised land


Friday, 9 April 2021

2021 #9


Napowrimo 2021





Easy as you go it's your turn to cook for your wife

it's Sunday morning weekend duties and all that

preparation is the key to a great dish so first things first

you need the soup vegetables to make a nice stock

then add two types of pepper sometimes three

a pinch of salt Himalayan or Kosher will do nicely

A knob of butter a tablespoon of olive oil

and whatever you do don't forget the onions

brown spring red shallots leeks and chives

then there's the herbs or the 'erbs as they say elsewhere

you'll need to pick them fresh from the kitchen garden

or use them dried from a bottle or jar

Anyway let's get down to it start chopping the veggies

all the onions but keep the brown ones back for later

bung the veg in a pan cover with water add the salt

bring to the boil turn the light down and simmer

when it looks and smells like a dogs dinner

add some chicken fillets (turkey or white fish will do)

Take a roasting tray pour the olive oil in and add the butter

stick the tray into a red hot oven for a few minutes

pull it out again turn the oven down a bit and close the door

remove the chicken fillets turkey or white fish from the stock

and place it in the hot oil and return the tray to the oven

Phew let the chicken or what have you cook for a few minutes

turn the light off under the stock pot and let it stand

pull the fillets out of the oven turn them over pour the stock

over the top add the herbs and as much pepper as you like

A drop of wine and a teaspoon of mustard at this stage helps too

if you don't like putting wine in your cooking pour yourself a glass

likewise a bit of Dijon on a roast potato is a very satisfying snack

finally slice the brown onion and fry on a medium heat and add to

the other ingredients before serving remember presentation is key

Okay roast some potatoes if you have to or serve this dish with rice

pilau rice sticky rice brown rice red or green lentils or semolina 

it's nice whichever way you make it so bingo that's how to cook

your wife a nice meal and eat her dinner for her if she doesn't like it


Thursday, 8 April 2021

2021 #8


Napowrimo 2021



They come in a yellow van

to collect me from work everyday

sometimes they drag me home screaming

Take your tablets when we tell you to they say

funnelling them down my throat

I don't like them I shout I don't want them

and I hate you more than you love Eccles Cakes

We don't like you either they reply in unison

but we have to come here to help you

to make sure you don't harm yourself

so shut up or we'll flaming batter you

After they think that I have fallen asleep

in my supa dupa reclining chair in front of the TV

they talk to each other about the disco last night

and how many Pernod and blacks they swallowed

Blooming Nora how long is it since I went to a disco

I used to do the Tamla Walk at the Ocean Ballroom

but they won't remember that I don't suppose

After the meals on wheels lady goes home

they undress me drag me upstairs and put me to bed

Do I really remember that or am I dreaming

hello am I even dancing around the ballroom

or am I hallucinating in the bedroom on the medication

that they just stuck down my throat sideways


Wednesday, 7 April 2021

2021 #7


Napowrimo 2021



I used to be the head chef at the Old Bamboo

but hello am I even cooking these days

someone comes to make my dinner every day

they take the packet out of the freezer

and bung it in the microwave for two minutes

They won't even let me boil or scramble an egg

I tried to make my own breakfast yesterday

but my home help came and turned the toaster off

You could burn yourself she told me sternly

They know absolutely nothing about cooking

but one of them says she has a slow cooker at home

I said Who's that your husband but she didn't laugh

The other girl said she's got an NVQ in housekeeping

I can believe that because she's not very quick

Whatever I do it's always my fault

The girls that come every day are never wrong

so when they say I can't have steak and chips

they're only telling me that for my own good

because I'd be too dangerous to cook it

I've started making no bake fridge cakes

Cheesecake to die for and Mississippi Mud Pie

I really want to make cinnamon rolls

but I'm not allowed to use the oven at night

or in the daytime when my helpers come

because they don't know how to use it either


Tuesday, 6 April 2021

2021 #6


Napowrimo 2021



They come every morning to make my breakfast

Have you taken your tablets today

one of them asks me knowing that I haven't

there's some nice water there she tells me

you can sip it with your tablets if you like

Thank you I reply biting into my toast

They turn the telly on it's the shopping channel

I ignore them as they start drooling at gadgets

Ooh I want a spray mop says one of them

Yeah the other one agrees they're flipping cool

They're like the Emperor's new clothes I tell them

What are - they say together - what are you on about

The spray mops I tell them somebody'll suss them out

You what – they say - they're the best thing since sliced bread

Where does all the dirt go then I ask them

I dunno says one of them maybe it sucks it up

Dream on I tell them it just gets pushed around the floor

Of course they don't believe me and they order one

I'm only trying to help you I tell them

I know dear says the older carer take your tablets now

I put them in my mouth and spit them into my hanky

I don't need this medication every day

I'm not taking it anyway hello am I even trying


Monday, 5 April 2021

2021 #5


Napowrimo 2021

Day Five


I like to watch football on TV

but they think football is like rugby

they don't understand the beautiful game

they turn the TV over and watch the adverts

I just sit there and stare at the kitchen wall

They play with their mobile telephones

and put likes on things that they think they like

I like watching football but I wouldn't take them

imagine them going to a proper game

in a proper stadium with loads of fans

They think that fans can only blow cold air

which is nearly true as a lot of fans

talk a lot of hot air about their teams

I try and get up from my reclining chair

but trip on the mat and fall flat on my face

they come over and help me to get back up

Just tell us if you need the bathroom they say

Pride comes before a fall they tell me later

I don't really know where they read that though

I'm not even sure if they can both read

I just want to watch the football I tell them

Why don't you have an afternoon nap they say

you can watch your football after the adverts

I'm not tired I don't need to go to sleep

hello am I even snoring help me please


Sunday, 4 April 2021

2021 #4


Napowrimo 2021

Day Four


Yesterday they told me to fill the machines

today they said don't touch anything or else

sometimes I get really confused about things

they say that I'm being lazy but I do try

The bubble gum machines get very sticky

I asked if I could make them nice and clean

but they told me it wasn't my job to do that

don't touch anything or we'll batter you

You're getting a pay rise - so the maximum amount

will be the minimum wage - they tell me

I used to get plenty more than that

but they didn't raise my wages for ages

Do they need me hello am I even wanted

No we know you know zilch about nothing


Saturday, 3 April 2021

2021 #3

 Napowrimo 2021

Day Three


I ask what we're having for dinner

We're having a carry out they reply

Oh good I respond can I have fried chicken

If you can order it they say laughing

I go to the pay phone in the hall

but I don't have any coins that fit

Have you got a two bob bit I ask them

Sorry love we don't use money these days

How ever do they buy things I think sideways

We'll have to go to the chippy then I say

Nooo they respond in tandem not today

we'll make it and carry it out to the greenhouse

That's not a carry out Darlink I say

Hello am I even eating ice cream


Friday, 2 April 2021

2021 #2


Napowrimo 2021

Day Two


I sing your sonnets drinking wine

Iambic whatsits longer lines

Jardin du Luxembourg

Is drinking cognac still a crime

a lark in the park with a berk named Dirk

Question mark internal rhyme

As Parisian as Baudelaire

je t'aime the way you write those rhymes

pigeon french but I don't care

brackets dots at ends of lines

I love the way you waste your time

and meow when you watch postman pat

I heard you fought at brandywine

do you still look so cooking fat

Iambic whatsits longer lines

I sing your sonnets drinking wine


Thursday, 1 April 2021

2021 #1



They don't listen to me

I shout out all the answers

the ones I don't know

as well as the ones that I do

The questions aren't hard

they're logical like sudoku

multiple choice one from three

or sometimes one from four

Who wants to be a millionaire

The Chase Family Fortunes

I sit in my chair and bark at the TV

but they never listen to me


Wednesday, 31 March 2021

Napowrimo 2021 Intro...




It's napowrimo time again, the challenge is to write thirty poems, one for each day in April. This will be my thirteenth year and you can read all of my previous entries on this blog. You can search the internet for prompts if you think it will help you with ideas for poems and you can post your work to numerous sites if you crave feedback. So, Happy NaPoWriMo enjoy the challenge.


Here's a little something to set the mood, Exodus prompted by Nimfa Gabuyo Sewina.


eventually everything turns to dust

long ago perhaps in a time that is now lost

nasty creatures roamed the earth

preying on lesser life forms

in a wilderness of shame or did they

who really knows what happened

before the dawn of time

some say that raging seas covered the planet

others argue that glacial ice blighted the land

one man's riches is another man's rust

and the fact is that theory is fact unwrapped

dangling there like the emperor's new clothes

but nobody really knows why would they

but it seems the wicked world is still intact

or so they the great unwashed tell me

and heading for a brilliant fall ,as the globe warms

climate change will always be with us

rainbows and umbrella's can't stop a hail of bullets

it's the same old yarn hook line and sinker

beer before breakfast exodus no not yet


Wednesday, 17 March 2021

Ice Age Revisited


Something happened before the ice cream man came
to town and all the earth froze over
speculation intimidation and other words
screaming off the pages some hyphenated
punctuated with exclamation marks
long before commas and full stops were invented
many describing worlds of words bigger than marmalade
and with more letters than a pillar box
on the last posting day before Christmas
so when the fishing smacks went down
some say that dinosaurs roamed the earth
and different types of humanoids evolved
but shut the door what really happened
if the truth be known nobody really knows
except for the fact that something went very badly wrong
demonic degenerates dignitaries with holes in heads
shrunken brains an unevolved species of plant eating mammals
living in the canopy of trees others underground some in caves
a warring world of hand walking acrobats
clamouring to eke out a basic existence
screaming without words self strangulation
an unintelligible language of frustration
pretending to be something that was never meant to be
individuals living in a counterfeit universe
the copy-cat intellectuals of the pre-dawn
fighting for the right to be heard to be seen
to be who they were wrongly told that they were meant to be
the parallel universe planting thoughts upside down inside out
outlandish as a troglodyte on heat
who would have thought that eternity
had anything to do with all their mess
but time or the concept of it that we now know and use
the time that we keep and rely upon didn't yet exist
the different ones came and went some stayed
buried forever in the quick setting sand
for us for you and I to discover rediscover dig out of the clay
for us to adjudicate upon contemplate and marvel at today
but even in a perfect world not many barber shop quartets
butchers bakers or cake makers would ever find the truth

Sunday, 7 February 2021


 I wrote this one a while ago, but have now rewritten it slightly...

Clock watchers at Dicks and Becks
the warehouse where they wear cool specs
Then one day shock horror
the clocks were changed for mirrors
Now the shirkers look at one another cold
and watch themselves grow old

Saturday, 30 January 2021

Vile viral virus...



There's a new dinosaur in the room

during this vile viral virus

exceptions to the rules apply

Don't throw away the instructions

read the small print

read the very small print twice

Take one tablet a day

for the rest of your life

Two pills twice a day

at breakfast and supper

Don't drink anything fermented

weekdays or weekends

Have you had your flu jab yet

when do you get your vaccination

Are you able to come to the pharmacy

and queue outside in the rain

Don't worry we can send your meds

through the post once you've got the app

Send us your script and your bank details

and authorise us to debit your account

Sit back and enjoy the lockdown it's illegal

to leave your house without good reason

Exceptions to ze rulz apply during

this vile viral virus

There's a new dinosaur in the room



Sunday, 10 January 2021

Something I wrote in April last year...


The lunatics are running the asylum
Trumpington and Twopence
have no cents sense

The trouble is we're all locked in
locked up

Lockdown not in my town
I'd rather be locked in the pub
drinking beer
vodka lemonade

But I'm afraid

The lunatics are running the asylum
King Karloff with his brand new prince

Nicola Fish
Haggis dish
cover yer kite in public hen

In Singapore they're building more
hospitals for the rich and poor
'cos they're expecting a second wave
of Coronavirus on their shores

Rub-a-dub-dub three men in a pub
and how do you think they got there
through the back door
where they pulled up a chair
the doctor the vicar the undertaker
smoking cigars supping boilermakers

The trouble is we're all locked in
locked up

Lockdown your town too
and the lunatics are running the asylum

Thursday, 31 December 2020

More from 2020...



They told me at sixteen

You're too young to die

but we don't think you'll make twenty one

definitely not twenty five

In my seventh decade now

fighting fit for fits sake

Walking stick football

forty then forty five

came and went

Attack defence sub

Subbuteo Shove ha'penny

armchair TV

A new millennium

appeared swallowed me up

with all its apps aches

likes and dripping taps

Mobile madness

inbuilt sickness

inane sadness

The fat controller

breaks out Brexit

petit dejeuner demain

flu jab over

covert covid

Hold out your hand

and we'll stab you again





Another year kaput

the air borne

mind blown

window pain

No pane of glass

or grain of sand

everything swept

under the rug

to make a fresh start

Even the no mug flies have flown

We alone are caught

in the spiders web

Nearly over

it's not even begun



Sunday, 8 November 2020

For Nimfa...



She gets up and starts to dance

mellow music fills the studio

Creative innovative she comes

scissors in hand scrambling flowers

oranges bananas apples sometimes

colour blind but without loss of smell

I watch her decorate the studio

printing letters in different type fonts

rearranging them to spell something else

she paints white hearts on the pink walls

She tunes the radio and TV

puts headphones on and tidies the room

listens to the computer broadcast

types something quickly makes another film

As the music fills the studio

she gets up again and starts to dance


Saturday, 24 October 2020

Song #199



could it ever happen again

I didn't really plan it this way

I know you said no more last time

and the time before

sitting on the back step

waiting for my baby to come

I call you my baby

but you don't even know that I'm here

It's been the longest time

I never thought that it would happen

could it ever happen again

I didn't really plan it this way

I know you said no more last time

and the time before

but I know you're there baby

I couldn't get by without you