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Monday 25 April 2011

NaPoWriMo 2011 Day Twenty Five

Original post Day 25 2009

I got the inspiration for this twin poem from two sources
Firstly from a prompt I saw on
‘A woman left a poem for the milkman instead of a note.’
And secondly from the
Saturday Scribes prompt:
Write a twin poem. With the theme; ‘What we need.’

My Mad Method: I wrote two poems, 1, a note for the milkman,
2, a little love poem. Then I cut out each line with a pair of
Scissors and randomly reconstructed the poems, the result is below.

I wrote a note For the milkman
Two pints of sterra For the acrobat
A bokkle of orange To take to work
A pint of Jersey milk For her cornflakes
And a dirty big carton Packed with cream
Not the whatsit fingy Not that thin stuff
But the proper job Deep Devon clotted
A lump of sugar A slice of saffron cake
To suck in the rain The Hog’s pudding’s rising
This is a wish list
But somehow you know He got this poem instead
What we need is this I love you when I wake
I love you when I ache I love you in the morning
You’re my favourite Cup cake, butter fingers
If the truth be known

Day 25 2010

Day 25 2011
Paradise for those that can see beyond this place
for those that can hear and respond to what's being said
purgatory perhaps, if you can't glean the words
shady as hades on a day that's hot as hell
shadow dancin' fairies, their wings catching the light
but she can't see them now, or maybe only she
can see them in her minds eye, as she switches off
and tunes in to a much greater reality
than this hear paradise that we think we can see.


  1. Clever construction. Chock full of sweetness, this piece leaves me wanting cake. Well done!

  2. Holy cow! Your deconstructed poem was magnificent. Even down to the bi-color font (which is the kind of thing I usually don't go for,

  3. Senses can make opinions, but opinions don't always make sense...
    Brilliant last line!

  4. like the contrast of the whimsical milk poem
    and the thoughtful edge of paradise


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