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Monday 19 April 2010

NaPoWriMo 2010 Day 19

For today’s NaPoWriMo prompt, Read Write Poem member Rallentanda introduces a word that’s new to many of us: éclat. Online dictionaries (like this one) list several definitions, but it is the etymology that inspires the meaning chosen for today’s prompt. The word éclat is French, and we’re paying attention to its root éclater, “to burst (out), shine.”
For Rallentanda, and us, this means a flash or light bulb moment. Everyone has had one. Things suddenly fall into place (a realization of the truth of the matter).
Often the situation is too painful to address, so you hide it. For example, you suspect your husband is having an affair with your best friend or you suddenly realize where the missing cash went from your wallet all those years ago.
It can even be humorous. You usually wear your best under garments for a visit to the gynecologist, but as you’re ready to strip off you suddenly realize you are wearing your old gardening knickers with all the broken elastic. Try to describe the ensuing feelings of embarrassment and desperate attempts to rectify this situation.
I actually know of someone who tripped and fell on stage at a gala performance. She was so humiliated that she pretended she was having a heart attack (which seemed, to her at the time, the better option).
Your poem should express the emotions that grip you as you experience your ’shock’ moment.
If I talk to you about passing clouds
will you remember where you were that day?
Or need I to remind you of the shroud
clinging to your skin, stinking of decay.

Ebb and flow, you tried to refloat your ship
a raft of broken promises unfurled.
Time and again, until the final blip
the oval shape you craved still left me cold.

Then one day you came back into my life
a brand new you, your yellow teeth now clean.
The pungent stench of death no longer rife,
at last I can see how things might have been.

Your road to Damascus, try as you might
clouded in smoke, until you saw the light!



  1. Thirty five years is a long time to live under that cloud...but at least you saw the light. Some people never do so you are lucky really. I sense a little regret about time wasted and how things might have been. Enjoyed this Andy.

  2. I think this is fabulous, Andy. I love sonnets and this expresses the negatives of smoking in such an attractive way.

  3. This is a very clever piece. Really enjoyed the metaphor of the clouds with smoking that clouds our judgement. Glad to see that the smokey cloud has lifted!



  4. Andy,
    It certainly does express the negatives of smoking quite eloquently.

  5. I really lke how you expressed this! A sonnet offers just the right amount of structure to show your control.

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  7. Great form and content. Nice response to the prompt!

  8. An enjoyable read; very clever response :)

  9. John Player used to live at 10 Park Drive, close to the Embassy (or was it the Consulate), butt he 'dragged' himself away - just in the nic'o'time.
    Great piece - cleverly executed!

  10. Great take on the prompt, perfect formal execution!


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