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Monday 18 April 2011

NaPoWriMo 2011 Day Eighteen

Brenda W offered the following words as a wordle: recounts, crude, crescendo, sprouting, flattery, message, perfume, forever, inept, scars, phrase, silver.

Here's the thingy I made from it:

She's sprouting like my silver nutmeg tree
but why the hell did she delete the phrase
that message wasn't meant to be so crude
the way that she recounts it anyway.

Sure flattery will get her everywhere
but she best leave that perfume in the drawer.
She's so inept at making up to me
those mental scars forever on her mind
that stifle the crescendo of her scream.
Posted to Writer's Island

Day Eighteen 2010
Day Eighteen 2009
Note** Funnily enough, I mentioned 'crescendo' in my Day Eighteen 2009 for NaPoWriMo



  1. I've posted this, but I may change the ending when I get a minute as it doesn't read right to me.

  2. Nice, tightly written piece. You'd be doing well to make it sound better.

  3. I shall look back to see if the ending has been changed. I have been known to do something of the sort.

  4. the perils of prompt poetry! I think that last couple of lines are pretty good!

  5. Thanks everybody!
    I'm changing it now. for the record this was the original ending:
    Sure flattery will get her everywhere
    but she best leave that perfume in the drawer
    forever, it makes her seem so inept.
    Like the mental scars she leaves behind, when
    she screams herself into a crescendo...

  6. I didn't think you could, but you have improved it!

  7. I quite like the original ending.

  8. You only went and did it... Nice one!

  9. "She's so inept at making up to me" - I don't know why, but I keep getting drawn to that line. I suppose her flattery no longer works on you. A great take on Brenda's wordle words.

  10. Andy, I suppose I have read the changed ending, which works for me. You handled the wordle words perfectly. Nicely done.


  11. I'm glad I got to read the revised (or did you say that was the original) well, the ending in your comments....I reeeally like it!

  12. Andy, This is awesome! "Texting" is a bit odd, like facebook and all that...people use that crap against each other. This piece is angry and well said. The last two lines pack a powerful punch. Bravo!

  13. Wow, bravo on your wordle. I find that form difficult but you shine. This made me smile until I got to the last!



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